Get Ready for Kindergarten

Being sure of your child's kindergarten readiness will help ease first-day stress and prepare your child for kindergarten success in the year ahead.
by Patti Ghezzi

The first day of kindergarten is tearful for parents, who can’t believe their child is growing up so fast. For the child, however, it doesn’t have to be a time for tears. We collected tips from veteran principals on preparing for a smooth transition to kindergarten.

1. Allow your child to become familiar with the school by driving past it as often as you can during the summer, advises Eddie Manuszak, principal of Patterson Elementary in Tecumseh, Mich.
   
2. Tour the school during the summer, even if your child visited on registration day, just to get her more comfortable in the building. Most schools are staffed during the summer by the principal, assistant principals, and other administrators.
   
3. Bring up school in conversations at home as much as possible. Talk about the fun things your child will get to do. Don’t express regret that he’s starting school. Make sure he views it as a positive step.
   
4. Make shopping for school supplies a fun experience. Get a list from the school of exactly what is allowed and expected. Some schools forbid rolling backpacks, colored markers, or other familiar supplies. Let your child make some choices about the color of her backpack or the type of pencil case.
   
5. Start the school bedtime routine a month before school starts. Parents can scale back gradually, having the child go to bed just five or 10 minutes earlier each night. “It takes 30 days to establish a routine,” Manuszak says. “You don’t want your child to be too worn out to make it through the day.”
   
6. Work with your child during the summer on making healthy food choices. Most kindergartners are given some choices if they buy their lunch at school. For example, some schools sell whole, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and 2 percent milk. Children used to having Mom make all their decisions may be overwhelmed, and most will be tempted to make the tastiest, and often unhealthiest, choice.
   
7. Check out books from the library that help ease jitters about starting school. Manuszak recommends The Night Before Kindergarten, by Natasha Wing, and The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn.
   
8. Attend every open house and meet-the-teacher event offered. Stop by the parent involvement table for information on joining the PTO—it’s a great way to meet other parents with children in the same class and to keep up with what’s going on at school.
   
9. Prepare yourself. “You are going to cry,” Manuszak says. “Be strong and don’t cry in front of your child. Hold the tears until you’re in your car.”
   
10. Work with your child throughout the summer on kindergarten readiness academic skills such as writing her name or reading letters—but only if she’s ready. “You know your child best,” Manuszak says. “Follow your child’s lead. Don’t force it. Drilling them before they’re ready creates stress.”
    
11. Do arts-and-crafts projects with your child during the summer. He’ll get more comfortable using scissors, markers, and other supplies that he’ll see plenty of in kindergarten.
    
12. Ask your school whether they have a kindergarten handbook for parents. Sandra Watson, director of elementary education in Fayette County, Ga., and a former principal, authored a handbook for parents of kindergartners in her district, and parents often refer to it during the summer when questions and fears arise about their child starting school.
    
13. Find out whether the kindergarten curriculum is available online and familiarize yourself with what today’s kindergartners are expected to learn. Kindergarten has changed dramatically in the past 20 years. Many of the skills your child will learn were once taught in 1st grade.
    
14. Talk to your school’s principal about their philosophy of kindergarten and kindergarten readiness. Some educators believe in making kindergarten more play-oriented, like preschool, while others believe it’s time for kids to sit at desks like 1st graders. Understanding your school leader’s philosophy will help you understand what your child is learning and why.
    
15. Make sure your child has the necessary immunizations to start school.
    
16. Be prepared for a wide range of kids in your child’s class. “Kids come in A to Z,” says Watson. “Some don’t know their last name and others are reading at a 1st grade level and higher.” Don’t make it a competition. Development at this age varies from child to child, as does school readiness. By 3rd grade, most kids will be at the same level, but younger kids need to be allowed to grow at their own pace.
    
17. Over the summer, work with your child on problem-solving. Some kids are whizzes with flash cards but unable to think for themselves when a problem arises. “Give your child a chance to answer who, what, where, and why questions,” Watson says. “Going grocery shopping can be a great learning experience in preparation for school.”
    

Kindergarten readiness doesn’t have to be the main focus of your summer. Your child will be too busy playing to think much about it. But taking time to familiarize your child with school and educate yourself on what modern kindergarten is all about will go a long way toward guaranteeing a smooth transition.

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

Kindergarten Social Changes: What To Expect

For kindergartners, school is all about having fun and making friends.
by Patti Ghezzi

Kindergarten used to be all about developing social skills. These days, it’s more about learning to read and getting ready to tackle academic subjects in 1st grade.
Still, a primary intent of kindergarten is to teach children to work together, share, accept each other’s differences, solve problems by communicating, and enjoy playing with each other.
Luckily, these things come naturally for most 5-year-olds. “Children are so cheery at that age,” says Nancy Davenport, president of the National Association of Elementary School Principals. “They are bright, full of energy, and just love school.”
For some kids, it’s their first chance to interact with other children all day long and to be part of a learning community. It can be an adjustment, especially for children who are used to spending every day at home, whether with Mom or another caregiver. But most kids have had loads of kindergarten readiness and school-like experience by the time they enter kindergarten.
Parents should expect occasional bumps in the road as their children adjust to the kindergarten classroom. Some kids might cry a little. Some might have a hard time sharing toys or understanding that the toys belong to the class as a whole, not just to them. But after a week or so, most kindergarten classrooms are humming along beautifully.
“Whenever a principal has a bad day, you go down and visit a kindergarten class,” Davenport says.

Fostering Cooperation

Kindergartners are innocent. They believe, for the most part, that everyone is their best friend. Most will happily play with a child of the opposite sex and join in with a group of kids they don’t know well. They aren’t picky about whom they sit next to at lunch. They crave being around other children and might beg for play dates with their classmates even after spending all day with them at school.
Many kindergarten activities are built around encouraging kids to socialize, even if they appear more academically oriented. Teachers often set up centers and allow children to choose which activity they want to do. Many activities require children to work in groups or pairs.
Some kindergarten classrooms have play areas, such as a kitchen, where kids can “play house,” a game that fosters cooperation.
Kids of this age need hands-on activities, such as decorating a pumpkin or gathering leaves in autumn. Kindergarten teachers are often creative in coming up with ways to build upon a theme so their students will be engaged. “There are so many things that can accompany a lesson,” Davenport says.
Young children have shorter attention spans and need to move from activity to activity. If they’re left too long on one task, many will lose interest, which could lead to misbehavior.
Another characteristic of the kindergartner is the tendency to ask question after question. Parents should seize upon that curiosity, Davenport says. “It’s so important to take advantage of those early years,” she says, noting that answering a child’s question gives the parent an inside track to finding out about her day, what she’s thinking, and what her interests are.
Patience is required when a child is in kindergarten. Children develop at their own rates; some will not be as outgoing as others. This is not an indication that a child will be shy for life, just that the child may need more time to adjust to being surrounded by so many people.

Sensitivity Toward Others

Kindergartners are extremely attuned to the world around them, says Masha Rudman, director of the elementary education teaching program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. They notice everything and find simple things like a trip to the grocery store or a walk around the block fascinating. Parents can take advantage of this by bringing number facts, letters, and words into everyday activities.
Children of this age are also sensitive to others and may become sad when they see that a classmate is sad or be genuinely distraught over a story, even if the characters are animals. Because of the socialization mission of kindergarten, children are often encouraged to express their feelings. They may lack the vocabulary to share how they truly feel, relying on basic statements like “I feel sad” or “I feel scared.”
Teachers and parents can help children fill in the blanks as they try to express how they are feeling—for example, “Maybe when you heard in the story that Mary’s grandmother got sick, that made you think how you would feel if your grandmother got sick.”
In kindergarten, children are finding their way in a world that is suddenly bigger and more complex than they ever imagined. Parents and teachers are the tour guides, but they can only guide. The kindergartner has to cross the bridge from preschool to 1st grade on his own two feet, a realization that may be exhilarating for children and more than a little scary for their parents.
For more information, read “Kindergarten Academics: What To Expect”

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

School Lunch Menu Ideas

Yes, you can find a sack lunch that your kids will like and that’s healthy, too—even if they don’t know it!
by Lani Harac

If you commonly open your child’s lunch box after school only to find half of its contents untouched, don’t despair; Sally Sampson, founder of the family cooking magazine ChopChop, has some tips to make school lunch planning and prep a little easier. We also asked Sampson to suggest kid-tested ideas that work well for sack lunches, then grouped them into three mix-and-match lists (see “Lunch Box Boogie”, below) for a fun way to put together some back-to-school lunch menus.
Involve your child in preparing his own lunches. “Kids who cook have a more diverse palate,” says Sampson, who has authored 21 cookbooks. “Cooking” could be as simple as tossing a salad or stuffing almonds into dates; whatever the dish, Sampson has found that children are more likely to eat it when they’ve helped make it.
Don’t force your child to eat a certain food. If your child is reluctant to try something new, just keep including it in her lunch box. Eventually, she might very well decide on her own to give it a taste.
Combine new foods with favorite ones. Doing this can help overcome some kids’ resistance to eating unfamiliar or just plain unliked ingredients. “If you pair the hated food with the beloved food,” Sampson says, “it creates a conflict, and they’ll want to try it.”
Shift (gradually) to healthier versions of familiar foods. Switching from standard pasta to whole wheat, for example, or from whole milk to low-fat is a relatively simple way to boost kids’ intake of nutritious foods. To make new flavors easier to get used to, start by substituting a quarter of the total amount with the healthier food, then slowly increase that quantity until the original food is phased out.
Apply the morning clothes principle to school lunches. The popular trick that makes it easier for some parents to get their kids dressed before school—you know, offering them shirt A or shirt B instead of the whole closet—works just as well with meals. “Do you want the apple or the banana with your lunch today?” lets children express their preferences without opening up the entire kitchen pantry for discussion.
Have a variety of food items readily available. This is a good one for parents and kids, and can be useful both for school lunch boxes and after-school snacks. For example, wash and cut up a batch of strawberries and leave the bowl on the counter; that way, you’ll reach for those first if your child needs a little something extra in her lunch bag or you need a quick bite before dinner.

Lunch Box Boogie

Choose one item from each column or read across a row for a well-rounded and fun sack lunch; a frozen juice box or insulated pack is great for keeping lunch bags cold.

MAIN COURSES	SIDE DISHES	DESSERTS
Chicken salad With a twist: Season the chicken with tarragon for a new flavor	Bell peppers with cherry tomatoes With a twist: Roast along with zucchini and squash for a dish that’s good hot or cold	Banana-cocoa bread
Tuna salad With a twist: Try low-fat yogurt instead of mayo to moisten the tuna	Whole grain crackers	Fresh fruit kebabs
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich With a twist: Spread the peanut butter on a rice cake or corn cakes instead of bread	Lightly steamed (still crunchy) green beans or shelled edamame beans	Carrot cupcake
Vegetarian or turkey chili	Corn bread	Dates stuffed with almonds
Hummus or white bean dip With a twist: Make a salad instead by sautéing whole chickpeas or white beans with greens like spinach or kale	Pita chips and raw veggies	1 or 2 squares of dark chocolate
Tabouli	Sesame noodles	Frozen grapes
Corn and black bean salad	Ranch dressing and veggie sticks	Dried cherries and golden raisins

Lani Harac is managing editor of School Family Media. She lives in the Boston area with her family.

Choosing After-School Activities

How to make smart choices, judge how much is too much, and deal with lack of commitment once an activity is chosen.
by Evelyn Beck

How can you help guide your children to the most enriching after-school activities? It helps first of all to think about the options.
In 2005, according to estimates from Child Trends DataBank, the most popular after-school activity for children was sports, with 31 percent of children participating in sports-related programs outside of school hours. Other popular choices included religious activities (20 percent), arts (18 percent), scouts (10 percent), community service (8 percent), academic activities (7 percent), and school clubs (6 percent). To identify local opportunities for your child, ask at school and inquire at places such as swim centers, arts centers, museums, recreation centers, colleges and universities, and churches.
Sometimes the choice for an appropriate outside activity comes from your own goals for your child. For example, if you want to use time after school to fill a gap in what is offered by the school, you might consider music lessons. If your child is struggling in a particular subject, tutoring might be a good idea. If your child needs to burn off energy or needs to be more physically active, you might want to look into an activity such as karate.
But the after-school activities that are the most fun for children usually emerge from their own interests. Be careful about urging your child toward some interest that you harbor or letting them bend to peer pressure. “Ask yourself whether your child really loves this activity,” advises social psychologist Susan Newman, author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day and The Book of No: 250 Ways To Say It—and Mean It—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever. “If the activity is not something the child is even moderately good at, it can have a negative effect on his self-perception.”
So listen to your child. Look in particular for persistent expressions of interest rather than something a child mentions once or twice. Figure out what sparked the interest. Was it a friend? Was it seeing the activity? Then ask yourself whether your child is physically old enough for the activity or what the benefits will be.
If a child doesn’t express a particular interest vocally, look for other clues. “We know our children better than anyone else,” says Newman. “As a parent, you have some [indication] of what your child might be interested in or where his strong suits are.” For example, for a child who is always doodling, you might suggest art lessons. For a child who keeps trying to reach the basketball hoop, mention the basketball team. For the child who loves to argue, propose debate.
For the child who wants to be involved in multiple activities, force him to prioritize. Or if your child jumps into activities and then quits, allow such experimenting but don’t invest in the necessary equipment right away. For example, if your child decides she wants horseback riding or guitar lessons, borrow or rent or buy used items until you see a deep commitment.
And for the child who resists involvement in any activities at all, don’t push too hard. “Some children are loners and quite content being by themselves,” says Newman. “Pushing your child to get out and do something is going to make him miserable. Just keep suggesting possibilities.”

Activities and College Admission

Whatever you choose, don’t overdo it. “What’s happened today is that parenting has become this competitive sport and the trophy is to get your child into a good college,” Newman says. “To that end, children are overscheduled and they have absolutely no down time. For some children, this works fine, but for the majority, the pressure is intense and they’re exhausted and their academics suffer. In going for the top college prize, parents erroneously think the more activities, the better their child will look on applications, and that’s not what colleges are looking at anymore, if they ever were.”
A single, lasting commitment to one activity is more impressive, she says. And activities that detract from academic performance will end up hurting the child’s chances later on.
Newman particularly warns against overinvolvement in sports, citing recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics that children take the summer off from a sport and that they not play on two teams in the same sport so as to avoid serious injury.
Overscheduling can affect your family life, too, so consider the demands on your own time. Keep in mind what will be expected of you when your child begins a new activity. This will include time and transportation, obviously. But it can also mean volunteering, fundraising, and coaching.
One way to let children try out different interests without too much commitment is to enroll them in summer programs. Many of these activities, which can run as short as a week, can be a good way to explore different interests during a time of year that’s free from the pressure of school demands.
Another activity—and one that’s free—is to let your child volunteer at a local agency. Usually, child volunteers must be at least middle school age. Organized volunteer programs can be fun and enlightening for children while helping them develop a commitment to community service.

After-School Energizers

Fun ideas for healthy snacks kids will actually eat.
by Patti Ghezzi

We know our kids need to eat well to do their best in school. But with fast food and junk food screaming out from every corner, it can be hard to find quick, healthy snacks that appeal to fickle palates.
Kids tend to chow down after school, especially if their class has an early lunch period. It’s easy to write off the after-school hours as an inevitable pig-out session, but the afternoon can be a great opportunity to get kids to eat healthy food. Keep these tips in mind as you plan snacks for your kids.
Plan the night before. Leave snacks in labeled containers on the counter or in the fridge. This is especially helpful if parents are at work when the child gets home from school.
Work with what your kids like to eat. If your kids won’t eat vegetables at the dinner table, don’t bank on carrots and ranch dip being a big hit in the afternoon. For kids who love salty snacks, offer pretzels along with string cheese and dried fruit. For those with a sweet tooth, try high-protein cereal topped with dried cherries and yogurt.
Think mini supper or light lunch. Traditional snack fare can be nutritionally void. But a turkey and cheese rollup on a fajita-size whole-wheat tortilla is healthy and yummy. Some kids might enjoy a cup of soup or half a slice of leftover pizza.

Keep Snacks Healthy

Save the milk and cookies for dessert. To boost your child’s energy after school, opt for foods that offer more than empty calories.

• Watch the sugar. Sweeten plain yogurt with jam or fruit juice concentrate. Look for low-sugar cereals. Keep portions of sweet snacks small.
  
• Go with whole grains. Choose whole-wheat bread, crackers, and pretzels as well as whole-grain cereals.
  
• Pick protein. Cheese, nuts, yogurt, peanut butter, and other high-protein foods will give your child the energy he needs to tackle homework or soccer practice.
  
• Watch the fat. Kids need a little fat in their diet, but make it a healthy option, such as olive oil or the fat found in nuts and avocados. Choose low-fat cheese, yogurt, and milk.
  

Make Snack Time Fun

Kids are more likely to accept healthy snacks if there’s an element of fun. Shake up your snack routine by trying new ways of preparing nutritional foods and letting the kids take on some of the work.

• Make it cool. In hot weather, kids love frozen treats, says Penny Warner, author of Healthy Snacks for Kids. Try out a recipe for frozen yogurt popsicles, or make frozen fruit cups with applesauce and frozen berries.
  
• Make it hot. In cold weather, try a hot snack such as oatmeal topped with almonds and raisins or a baked apple topped with cinnamon and yogurt.
  
• Put kids in charge. Provide English muffins, marinara sauce, cheese, and pizza toppings and let the kids make mini pizzas. The fruit sundae is another of Warner’s favorites: Make a “boat” with a banana sliced lengthwise and top with yogurt, crunchy cereal, fruit, and a cherry.
  
• Let the kids “cook.” Children can prepare instant pudding themselves. With supervision, they can make nachos using baked corn chips topped with black beans, shredded cheese, and diced tomatoes.
  
• Offer dips and dippers. Pretzels, baked chips, crackers, pita triangles, and carrots make great dippers. For dips, try hummus, plain yogurt with garlic salt, salsa, or honey mustard.
  

Quick and Easy Snack Ideas

Find the healthiest prepackaged snacks you can, such as pretzels, low-fat cookies, or baked chips, and let your child choose one. Serve with a glass of milk and a slice of cheese. Or try these simple recipes to create kid-pleasing combinations.

• Sampler platter: Serve a slice of cheese, a piece of fruit, a handful of whole-wheat crackers, and half a handful of nuts.
  
• Kabobs: Set out cheese cubes, olives, cubed melon, cubed avocado, and cubed cooked chicken. Give your kids toothpicks and let them assemble their own kabobs.
  
• Gorp: Mix up your own combination of cereal, nuts, pretzels, dried fruit, popcorn, and even a few handfuls of M&M’s or chocolate chips.
  
• Waffles: Start with a whole-wheat toaster waffle. Spread with peanut butter and jelly or top with yogurt and fresh fruit.
  

Treats for Kids With Allergies

Even if your children don’t have food allergies, the friends they invite home from school may be sensitive or allergic to dairy, gluten, or nuts. Always read labels before offering food to an allergic child. Instead of offering a separate snack for the child with the allergy, encourage everyone to enjoy the same treats. Here are some after-school snack ideas.
No dairy for me: Try hummus, whole grain crackers, and fruit. Spread peanut butter on toast and drizzle with honey.
I’m nut-free: Steer clear of processed foods. Instead, offer cut-up fruits and veggies with yogurt dip, popcorn sprinkled with parmesan cheese, or turkey and cheese rollups.
I don’t do gluten: Many gluten-free crackers, cookies, and other snack foods are available in grocery stores. Kids may also enjoy peanut butter and rice cakes, dried fruit that hasn’t been dusted with flour, hard-boiled eggs, mixed nuts, and fresh veggies.

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

15 Tips for Managing the After-School Activities Juggle

Keeping kids busy after school is a good thing, but participating in many activities without advance planning is inviting miscommunication, forgotten homework, and cranky families. Instead, enlist your kids’ efforts each week in planning their time.
by Patti Ghezzi

For many families, the morning rush isn’t the most chaotic time of the day. Instead, the sanity-buster is that long stretch from the time school lets out until the final activity ends and everyone is home.
Surviving the afternoon activities juggle is all about planning and time management—and it’s also an opportune time to teach kids some valuable skills.
“The opportunity with activities is it’s a great time for kids to learn time management,” says Carolyn Dalgliesh, a Rhode Island-based professional organizer who specializes in helping kids who are anxious or distracted. “It’s a skill that will help them throughout their lives.”
Partners Michelle Grey and Michelle Cooper instill the same message through their business, Student Organizers of Atlanta.
“They teach kids how to tell time in school,” Cooper says, “but they don’t teach kids how to manage time.”
Without preparation, the activities crunch can get kids—and parents—on a quick path to burnout and exhaustion.
Here are 15 tips from our experts for making your child’s after-school activities a fun and rewarding part of childhood—and for teaching your child the skill of time management.
1. Choose the right activities. There is no need for everyone to run ragged getting to volleyball practice if your child no longer enjoys it. “We talk about mindful choices,” Dalgliesh says. “You want your child to get value out of any activity, whether it’s a great social outlet or a chance to run off a lot of energy.”
2. Consider timing. If you’re lucky enough to have choices in times, choose wisely. “Think about how well your child does with transitions,” Dalgliesh says. “For some kids, coming home triggers wind-down time, [so] parents may want to go to the library after school to do homework instead of stopping by the house.”
3. Honor the family meeting. There is a central principle when it comes to family time management: Everyone must get together once a week, with calendars in hand, to plan out the next week. Figure out how each kid will get to and from each activity, and make plans for meals and snacks. When doing the planning, try to carve out at least one night when the family can have dinner together. Make your weekly meeting fun by following it with a family movie or game night. Or, suggests Grey, dole out allowance and lunch money at the end of the meeting. “We made our meeting like a board meeting,” she says. “It became something special that the kids enjoyed and looked forward to.”
4. Maintain a family calendar. Each family member needs his or her own week-at-a-glance calendar, and you also need a family calendar. Yes, that’s a lot of calendars, but it will help ensure all activities are well-planned.
5. Get the activity bags ready. Get your kids in the habit of packing their activity bags on Sunday night. Designate a place for them to hang or store their bags. For activities requiring a lot of gear, use a checklist to make sure nothing gets left behind.
6. Embrace meal planning. It’s important to plan simple, consistent meals, especially if you’re a busy family with a lot of activities. For example, kids love theme dinners such as “Taco Tuesday,” and can help with preparation and assembly. Also plan snacks, making sure to have high-protein nibbles available for kids before they embark on a strenuous activity.
7. Make it portable. Keep healthy drinks and snacks in a car cooler. After all, “we’re a portable society,” Dalgliesh says. In addition to food, keep an “activities bin” for kids to rummage through while hanging out at big brother’s karate practice—but only then. “Those activities are special, and they only get pulled out when kids are waiting,” Dalgliesh explains.
8. Make car time special. If you spend a lot of time driving to and from activities, make that time count. Try an audiobook, choosing a story everyone in the family can enjoy. Dalgliesh plays a conversation game with her children. She has a set of cards with prompts such as, “What is the worst meal you ever had in a restaurant?” or “What is your favorite vacation memory?” She passes the deck to her kids has them pick one. “It’s about finding those moments to connect,” she says.
9. Have a picnic. If you have to race from your daughter’s after-school soccer practice to your son’s evening hockey game, pack a cooler and enjoy a picnic supper in the bleachers, at a park, or anywhere else you can find.
10. Divide the meal. If an activity runs right through your child’s usual dinnertime, consider giving him a large, protein-rich snack before the activity and then a light supper afterward. A starving child equals a cranky one.
11. Be flexible. Even the most carefully made plans can be rendered useless by a thunderstorm that cancels soccer practice, a sick child, or an unexpected work disaster. “There’s a whole lot of planning that needs to take place,” Cooper says. “Then, you have to go with the flow.”
12. Find small blocks of time. Thursdays might be so busy your son doesn’t have an hour to block off for math homework. Instead, find bits of available time—15 minutes here, 20 minutes there. “Take advantage of fragmented time,” Cooper says.
13. Empower your kids. Give your kids as much control over their own planning and scheduling as they can handle. “Allow kids to feel empowered, and you’ll get more buy-in,” Grey says. “As kids learn how to plan, it’s like a lightbulb goes off. They feel less stressed and more confident.”
14. Different kids need different tools. “Especially as kids get older, they need to own their organization system,” Grey says. Some kids like to do everything electronically, others like pretty paper notebooks and calendars. Some kids like to use the latest apps and color-coded pens to stay organized, and others take a minimalist approach, scribbling basic information only.
15. Electronics and computers. It’s easy to rely on electronic games and online social networking sites during the activities crunch, especially for siblings who are waiting or when you arrive at an activity early. But set limits and use electronic toys as a reward for good behavior, with exceptions to those limits when the tech tool is needed for a school project. “For example, you could allow 15 minutes for Facebook for every two hours of homework,” Grey says.
By teaching your kids the skills they need to manage their life inside and outside of school, you’ll equip them for grade school, college, and beyond. You’ll also create a family life that allows all members the opportunity to reach their potential. “The reality is that you cannot create time,” Grey says. “You have to take what you have and make use of it as best you can.”

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

When You’re the New Mom (or Dad) at School

If you think being the new kid at school is difficult, try being the new parent. Your child may have the ability to make new friends during class, over lunch, and at recess, but for you it’s not so easy. Our experts offer specific ways to reach out and develop successful connections with other parents and your child’s teacher.
by June Allan Corrigan

After a move to a new community—or a different school in the same community—the first focus is on getting your child settled in school. Soon enough, however, you’ll look up and wonder exactly where you fit in at school. It can be unsettling when all the other parents seem like old pals. Teachers, too, can inadvertently cause you to feel like you’re the one back in grade school where you’re the newbie. Maybe you’re not even sure just how involved you want or have time to be. But there are ways to deal with mommy cliques, win over intimidating teachers, and generally ease your own school jitters.

Odd One Out

It’s a good feeling to watch your child skip onto the playground and quickly become engaged in a game with newfound friends. Now if you could only accomplish a similar feat yourself! But one glance over at a tightly knit group of parents chatting away and making plans can cause its own unique brand of parental anxiety. How will you ever break in?
Jodi R.R. Smith, a mom and owner of Mannersmith, a Boston-area etiquette consulting firm, recommends trying several different approaches. “Start with the most casual,” she says. Immediately after drop-off, she says, “Turn to another mother (if you have a younger child, look for a mother who also has a younger child in tow or perhaps a baby), and say ‘Oh look, everybody’s being good right now—want to grab a quick coffee?’ So, just spur of the moment, on the fly, easy-breezy. And if she says no, it’s no big deal.”
But what if that sort of pickup line doesn’t work or just isn’t your style? “Then what you want to do is look for ways to interact with people so that they can get to know you and want to hang out with you,” Smith says. Volunteering at school is a good start, although Smith doesn’t advise signing up in as big a role as room parent, at least initially. While it’s a worthwhile pursuit, you’ll fare much better in the friend-making department by serving on a committee or just showing up at PTO meetings. “[Start with] anything where you can start going to meetings and seeing people over and over again,” she recommends. “Lots of times people have to see your face a number of times in different settings before they start to feel more comfortable with you.”

An Apple for the Teacher

During the first encounter with your child’s new teacher, you’ll probably experience conflicting thoughts. You want to make a good impression, but at the same time you might feel a little intimidated. It doesn’t help that you’re often made to sit at a little desk in a pint-size chair! “Realize that he or she is a person just like you are,” says Cathy Chomistek, a longtime 2nd grade teacher at Daffron Elementary in Plano, Texas. Conversely, she adds, “Since you are your child’s first educator and know your child better than anybody else, a teacher might just be feeling a little intimidated by you!”
Chomistek advises parents to be confident and to share things with the teacher that will make her job easier. Is your child allergic to anything? Is there something he does particularly well? Anything he’s struggling with? This type of information is very helpful. Above all, Chomistek recommends that parents be open-minded. For instance, it doesn’t matter if your child didn’t get in the same class as his best friend. “Give the teacher an opportunity to show you how wonderful he or she is. Sometimes parents get a mindset where they want a certain teacher and if they don’t get that teacher, sometimes their disappointment shows through.”
“But if you come in open-minded,” she continues, “and realize your child will make friends with whoever is in that classroom, it will give the child an opportunity to grow and to meet other children.”
In a society where respect for teaching professionals doesn’t necessarily abound, etiquette expert Smith urges parents to hold their child’s teacher in high regard. “The teacher is your ally in raising your child,” she says. “You don’t always have to agree with him or her. You may not agree with his or her assessment of your child or your child’s learning abilities, but you need to listen to [the teacher], really listen, and respond appropriately.”

Set Involvement at Your Comfort Level

Time passes and you get to thinking that maybe you can relax. Your child is settled in his new class, the teacher is great, you’ve even managed to arrange a few playdates and become friendly with a couple of other parents. Still, a nagging worry remains —“Am I doing enough to help out at school?”
“It’s important not to overschedule yourself, particularly if you’re a working [outside the home] mom and/or are raising another child or two,” says Michele Borba, Ed. D., author of 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know. “Don’t feel pressured into taking on more than you can handle. It’s essential to leave some time for yourself and for your family.”
If guilt continues to weigh you down, consider what teacher Chomistek has to say on the matter: “Honestly, just about every teacher I work with at school is a working mom herself or a dad. We’re not in our own children’s classrooms helping out so we understand if you can’t be either. There are always opportunities to help out in some other way.”
In other words, head up a committee if you’re able, but don’t feel bad if all you can do is contribute an extra box of tissue or some old margarine tubs for sorting. To offer more targeted help, consult the teacher’s class supply wish list at TeacherLists.com, or ask the teacher what she specifically could use help with. Chomistek is fond of sending home math manipulative cubes, which parents can help assemble as sets. “They can do it with their child while watching TV,” she says. “It’s a fun activity for everybody, and it saves me hours of having to put together stacks of 10.” Ask your child’s teacher if she has similar repetitive tasks that you could complete at home.
Finding your rightful place at a new school will happen, just not overnight. Until then, a smile here, an overture of friendship there, a healthy dose of respect for your child’s teacher, and an extended hand and offer to pitch in will all help you find your place at school—new mom (or dad) or not.

Freelance writer June Allan Corrigan is a mother of two and a former kindergarten teacher who still substitutes on occasion. She resides with her family in La Quinta, Calif.

Can Food Help You Learn?

Eating certain “brain foods” might make your kids smarter...but research shows they’ll be better off with a balanced diet, a good breakfast, and regular physical activity.
by Lani Harac

From magic supplements to miracle diets, there’s no shortage of hype surrounding the things we eat. Some claims are for real: The calcium in milk really does strengthen bones. Many others are half-truths or have little or no scientific basis. One thing that scientists do agree on, though, is that what your child eats can affect how well he does in school.
Research into how food affects brain function has received a lot of media attention in recent years. For instance, you may know that omega-3 fatty acids, found primarily in fish as well as some nuts and seeds, are important for memory, brain function, and behavior. So should you serve fish on the night before a big test? Or should you stock up on foods containing vitamins B1, B6, and B12, zinc, and iodine—all of which may influence how well we are able to pay attention, recall words, and perform mathematical tasks?
While it’s important to get enough of these vitamins and minerals, there isn’t much evidence that getting more than the recommended amounts will make a positive difference. What does help is making sure your child gets a balanced diet and eats breakfast. Staying physically fit also plays a big role.

Balancing Act

Everyone should eat a balanced diet, but it’s especially important for children and adolescents, whose bodies and brains are still growing. The brain develops best when it gets the right nutrients at the right time, says Steven Zeisel, a medical doctor and director of the University of North Carolina’s Nutrition Research Institute.
Giving children a wide variety of foods ensures that they get the substances they require for healthy growth, when they need them. It’s especially important to start early with a broad and balanced diet—particularly for picky eaters, who are usually willing to continue having foods they ate in younger years even while they limit trying new ones. “Start early for better luck later in life,” Zeisel says. For parents of finicky eaters, getting a few extra things into the rotation can make a big difference.
Another reason experts recommend a balanced diet is that this is a new area of research and there’s still a lot to be learned. “We’ve probably only identified the most obvious [important nutrients], but there are others,” says Zeisel. “We only know the tip of the iceberg.” That means that while eating fish might be beneficial because of the omega-3 fatty acids, you’re likely to miss out on other important substances by limiting your diet.

Breakfast Club

Good nutrition overall is one of the most important pieces in kids’ ability to do well in school, but it’s not the only part of the equation. There’s even more scientific support for the value of breakfast for brain function.
According to dozens of studies from researchers around the world, the most common reason that children do less well at academic tasks is because they’ve skipped breakfast. They also have more behavior and attention problems, at school and elsewhere. Missing that first meal of the day can make your son slower at recalling his vocabulary words and figuring out those prealgebra math problems—not to mention make him irritable and more easily frustrated.
On the other hand, it really shows when students regularly eat a healthy breakfast: They score better on standardized tests and are better at problem-solving. Their memory and vocabulary skills improve. They make fewer mistakes in mathematics, and they are able to complete the work more quickly.
“It has to do with synthesizing the energy the brain needs,” Zeisel says. “If you’re not eating well and you’re low on those energy stores, your brain is the first place to perform poorly.”
Of course, this meal should be as well-balanced as any other. A breakfast high in refined sugar might give your daughter the energy to get through her first class of the day. After an hour or two, though, she’ll be sluggish—and probably hungry again. A breakfast that also includes some complex carbohydrates and protein is more likely to give her body and brain the fuel they need.
For help figuring out what makes a good meal, Zeisel recommends following the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s dietary guidelines for children. “The bottom line is, don’t have your kids fill up with meaningless calories and snack foods,” he says. “Try to have them eat the regular foods you should be eating.”

Active Learning

Eating a good breakfast and including a large variety of foods in all meals will help your child’s brain work better, which might mean a better report card. But brain health doesn’t just matter at mealtimes—for maximum mental performance, you have to get the body moving, too.
Exercise “readies the learner to learn,” says John Ratey, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. Among other things, physical activity increases attention, memory, and the ability to process information, and it decreases fatigue and restlessness.
“It works to rally our cells—nerve cells—to bind one to another, and this is the building block of learning. Exercise increases the plasticity of the brain, and plasticity means the brain changes, and learning means we change our brains,” Ratey explains. “Exercise helps create that environment amongst the cells better than anything else we know of at this time.”
Much of the research about physical fitness and brain function has focused on older adults with conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease. But the brain-body link has been reinforced by several recent studies among children. In 2005-06, for example, researchers in Michigan followed 200 students in 6th grade. The kids who engaged at least three times a week in vigorous physical activity—enough to raise their heart rate—performed about 10 percent better than their classmates in math, science, and English.
The findings of a 2007 study at the University of Georgia were dramatic, too. Those researchers took 94 overweight children, ages 7 to 11, and sorted them into three groups: one group did no additional exercise, one group did 20 minutes of aerobic exercise per day, and another did 40 minutes per day. After 15 weeks, the children who had done the most physical activity also showed the most improvement on problem-solving and standardized academic tests.
No matter their age, Ratey says, all kids need a session of vigorous, constant movement every day. For children younger than 11 or 12, it should be fun and feel more like recess—playing kick the can or dodgeball, for example. “They should just be enjoying moving,” he says. Older ones can take advantage of more structured exercise or sports programs.
Whether it’s an extracurricular sports club, PE at school, or games at the local park, physical activity has benefits beyond academic performance. Along with exercise, eating well at breakfast and throughout the day will help your children do better in school as well as keep them healthy all around. But making your kids smarter isn’t really so much about focusing on special foods and practices to give them an edge; nourishing and strengthening your child’s body will do the same for her mind, far more than any serving of “brain food” will.

Adapted from the U.S. Department of Agriculture

Lani Harac is managing editor of School Family Media. She lives in the Boston area with her family.

Back-to-School Parent Homework

A little preparation before school starts can make it an A-plus year for the whole family.
by Emily Graham

Related Content

• 10 Questions About Your Child and School
• 25 Ways You Can Make a Difference
• Back-to-School Books
• 5 Reasons To Get Involved
• Have a Conversation About School
• Print & Use School Note

Let’s face it: Kids aren’t the only ones with a lot of work to do at back-to-school time. Not only do you need to shop for school clothes and supplies; you also have to sign countless forms and make decisions about your family’s new routine. The good news is that by doing a little homework, you can look forward to a less stressful, more productive school year.

Background

Know when and how the school will notify you of your child’s new teacher and what school supplies she will need. Call the school office if you have questions. Now is the time to find out whether your son needs to bring a change of clothes for gym class or what to do if your daughter must take medication during the day.

Research Project

Check with your child’s school, the school district, or the state department of education to find out what your child will be expected to learn this year. For extra credit, seek out videos, books, and enrichment activities to help your child master the material.

School Rules

Before classes start, outline your family’s ground rules for completing homework, doing chores, watching television, playing video games, and other activities. Establish school-night bedtimes and talk with your children about their morning and after-school routines.

Discussion Period

Talk with your kids about their worries or concerns for the new school year. Try to convey the importance of education, but don’t put too much pressure on them to be perfect.

Required Reading

Take time to review all the paperwork from the school as it arrives. Read the school handbook, paying particular attention to the procedures for keeping a sick child home, visiting the school, and taking your child to appointments during school hours. Submit sign-up forms and permission slips promptly, and watch for notices about how you can volunteer at school.

Writing Assignment

Mark important events on a family calendar, including school holidays and extracurricular activities. If you don’t have an opportunity to talk with your child’s teacher before the first day of school, write her a short note telling her about your child’s special interests, hobbies, strengths, and weaknesses to help her get to know your child faster.

Emily Graham is a senior editor for School Family Media. She lives with her family in Oklahoma.

Start the School Year Right

Plan ahead for a smooth transition and a successful school year for everyone.
by Emily Graham

Forget last year’s late-night homework sessions and missed bus rides—the start of a new school year is a great time to reevaluate family routines and set guidelines to help your child succeed.
This year, make going back to school about more than buying school supplies. Think ahead to help your family ride out the surprises the year is sure to bring, and follow these expert tips to start off right.

Lay the Groundwork

Going back to school doesn’t have to mean homework fights and bedtime protests. While some experts advise creating homework schedules or activity charts, parenting coach Erin Brown Conroy says the first step parents should take to minimize disputes is to communicate their expectations clearly. Talk about homework rules and daily routines before school starts. Then, enforce family rules consistently.
Even on the toughest of days, it’s important to keep a positive attitude. Instead of focusing on what children “have to do” for homework, emphasize what they “get to learn,” Brown Conroy says. If your child becomes overwhelmed by homework, help break down the work into easily accomplished tasks.
Brown Conroy, the author of 20 Secrets to Success With Your Child, also advises parents to think ahead to what difficult situations their children may encounter, such as making new friends, and to talk about ways to deal with these situations before they occur.

Ease Anxieties

Starting a new grade or moving to a new school can be frightening. Parents can ease these anxieties by helping students feel prepared for school. If your child walks or rides a bicycle to school, walk or ride the route with him. If your child rides the bus, show her where the bus stop is, tell her about the schedule, and make sure she knows how to find the bus after school. Remind your child where he will go after school, whether it’s home, to an extracurricular activity, or to a babysitter.
This is also a good time to talk about strategies for dealing with bullies. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends telling children to look the bully in the eye, stay calm, and stand tall. Teach children to respond to bullying by saying, “I don’t like what you are doing,” “Please do not talk to me like that,” or “Why would you say that?” Tell your child to walk away from a bully, and teach her when and how to ask for help.

Meet School Staff

It’s best to make an appointment for you and your child to meet the principal, your child’s teachers, and even the school counselor before school starts, says John Wherry, president of the Parent Institute, a private company that encourages parent involvement at school. Alternatively, find out when the school will hold an organized teacher night and make plans to be there.
“Let your child see what the place is like instead of just riding a bike around the school all summer and not knowing what goes on behind those doors,” advises Wherry, a former teacher.
If your child has special needs, inform the teacher before classes start. Also let the teacher know of changes that may affect your child’s behavior, such as a divorce, an illness or death of a family member, or a recent or pending move. In addition, help the teacher connect with your child by mentioning his interests or hobbies, Wherry says.

Eating, Sleeping, and Learning

Establishing healthy habits now can ease the transition to a new school year.
by School Family Staff

Even if your child can’t wait to start school, transitioning from lazy summer days to strict school schedules can be tough. You can help your family prepare for the school year by easing into new routines and promoting healthy habits at home.

Eating

Breakfast: Don’t let your kids skip breakfast in the morning rush. A nutritious morning meal helps kids concentrate better in class and maintain a healthy weight. Stock your kitchen with plenty of healthy breakfast foods, such as whole-grain breads and cereals, yogurt, and fresh fruit, or make sure your children eat a balanced breakfast at school.
Lunch: Look over the school menu with your child, especially if he’s a picky eater. (Many schools post menus on their websites.) If he turns up his nose at the special of the day, plan to pack a healthy lunch he’ll enjoy.
After school: Keep nutritious foods on hand so your child can prepare her own snacks. She may be more likely to eat celery with peanut butter or carrot sticks with low-fat dip. Microwave popcorn, nuts, and low-fat cheese with whole-grain crackers are also good options.

Sleeping

Earlier wake-up times can be tough on kids and parents alike. Ease your family’s transition to a “school night” sleep schedule by rolling back bedtimes the week before classes start. Kids ages 5 to 12 need 10 to 11 hours of sleep per night, while older children need at least 9 hours of sleep.
Your kids may not be getting enough sleep if they:

• are irritable or restless or have a short attention span.
• have much less energy than they normally do.
• are more impatient, anxious, or defensive than usual.

You can help your children get sufficient sleep by establishing and maintaining a nighttime routine. The National Sleep Foundation recommends:

• Limiting caffeine consumption in the afternoon and evening.
• Avoiding serving big dinners close to bedtime.
• Setting a regular bedtime and enforcing it.
• Creating a calming nighttime routine. Video games and TV shows are too stimulating before bed. Instead, share a favorite story with your child or encourage her to read on her own.

Learning

Much of a child’s success in school is tied to the support he gets at home. You can help your kids get the most out of school by:

• Maintaining open lines of communication with teachers and understanding their expectations.
• Creating a homework station and keeping adequate school supplies on hand.
• Designating times for doing homework, playing outside, and watching TV or playing video games.
• Being available to help with homework.
• Observing your children for signs of frustration or confusion.

You’ll most likely get the teacher’s email address or phone number at the school open house. Don’t be afraid to use it, and don’t wait until the parent-teacher conference to address issues of concern. Taking steps early can make a big difference.

This article was written by School Family staff, and may include portions of articles previously published on SchoolFamily.com.

Ease the Transition to a New School

Tips to help make this big adjustment easier for your child—and for you.
by Patti Ghezzi

Your child’s first day at a new school is fast approaching, and she’s stressed out. Changing schools can be a tough adjustment for any kid, especially for an older child leaving behind lifelong friends. Here are some ways you can make the transition easier for your child.

Start Early

• Visit the new school with your child as soon as know where he will be enrolling. If your child is old enough, include him in the process of choosing a new school.
• Start looking for ways for your child to meet kids at her new school. Network through the parent organization, your real estate agent, your spouse’s or your new employer, and any other connection you can find.
• Once you have a few leads, a social networking site like Facebook can help you connect with even more parents.
• Don’t overwhelm or push your child into meeting new friends. Just let her know you’re there to help if she wants you to.
• Look for activities in your new community similar to ones your child currently pursues. If your son enjoys martial arts, try to find a comparable program. If your daughter is on the swim team, try to get her onto a new team as soon as possible.
• If your child wants a fresh start, suggest new activities he might enjoy.

Work With the School

• If your child has any special needs, such as a learning disability, work with the new school as far in advance as possible to determine placement and to line up services.
• If your child is in a gifted program, find out the process for getting him into the gifted program at his new school. Different states have different policies, and you might need to have your child tested or retested.
• If your child has a history of struggling in school, work with the principal ahead of time to line up support, even if your child does not currently have an individualized education program.
• Check out the curriculum at your new school. If your child has not learned some of the material she is expected to know, make arrangements to fill in the gaps. This is especially important if you are moving to a different state.
• Talk to your child about differences at the new school, such as a tougher homework policy or a different grading scale.

Be Positive

• Talk about all the things the new school has to offer. Maybe it has an outdoor classroom, an indoor pool, or a well-stocked art room.
• Remind your child often that new friends don’t replace old ones. Make arrangements for her to visit her old friends if possible. If your child is old enough, help her connect with her friends online, under your supervision.
• If your child is reluctant about making new friends, consider counseling.
• Give your child time to adjust to the new school.

Get Involved

• Join the parent organization.
• Make friends with other parents, but don’t expect your child to automatically become friends with their children.
• Look for other ways to get involved in the community, such as a religious congregation, the YMCA, or a neighborhood club.
• Talk to your child about how you miss your friends and former community, too, and about ways you both can adjust.
• Give yourself time. It can be hard, especially if the principal has a different leadership style than at your child’s former school or if your child is struggling academically or socially. Even if your child adjusts beautifully, you may still miss the old school.

Making the leap from one school to another is tough, even for an effervescent child who has always done well in school. If you have multiple kids or older children, or your kids have never switched schools before, the move can be downright hard. But it’s important to focus on the good that is coming from the move. Let your family know that the change has the potential to be great for everybody.

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

Help Kids Gear Up for the New School Year

Follow these tips to help the whole family get ready to go back to school.
by Patti Ghezzi

Summer’s been a blast, but it’s time to wash the sand out of the beach bags and get ready for a new school year. Whether you are excited for school to resume or wish summer would never end, the transition will be smoother with a little planning and a positive attitude.
Here are some ways to get ready and motivated for a great year.

Getting Geared Up

For many families, buying new stuff is a fun way to get into the back-to-school groove. But if you’re not careful, shopping can be a budget buster. Choose new items wisely, don’t overbuy, and check your state’s website for sales tax holidays.
School clothes: Work with your kids to decide what types of clothes they want and need. Look at circulars and magazines to see what styles appeal to them. When you see basics such as socks and jeans on sale, stock up. Get your fashion-conscious children excited for the new school year with a new outfit purchased early in the back-to-school season.
School supplies: Start looking early on for items you know your kids will need. Designate a box for supplies so you can stay organized as items accumulate. Let your kids select their own backpacks and other items. Give older kids a budget and let them shop for their supplies.
Technology: Tech tools can be expensive. Figure out what your kids will need and prioritize. Some tools—like graphing calculators—are mandatory. Others are optional. Check with the teacher to find out what types of assignments your child will be doing and what kind of computer programs and gadgets make sense.

Getting Kids’ Minds Ready

Kids learn during the summer, even if they don’t know it. If they’re on the swim team, they learned about decimals by tracking their times. If they visited an amusement park, they probably read a map to figure out how to squeeze in the most roller coasters. As you gear up to go back to school, you might want to encourage more direct learning.
Academics: Teachers have different opinions on whether kids should review academics before starting a new school year. Some say enriching activities such as zoo and museum visits are more important than workbooks and rote review. But most agree that if your child has been struggling in school, it’s useful to take time to review last year’s curriculum. You want to keep those hard-won skills from eroding. Some kids, especially young ones, enjoy math and reading worksheets. Indulge them!
Books: The most important thing your child can do over the summer to keep her mind sharp is read. As you get ready for a new school year, make sure she has completed any required reading. If she’s having trouble with motivation, try playing an audio book or reading the book aloud together. If your child’s school does not require students to read specific books over the summer, look for enjoyable books that tie into the social studies curriculum for the next year. Parents are often reluctant to encourage breezy reading, but many librarians say children who love to read series books and other lighter fare grow into voracious readers as adults.
Study skills: If your child struggles to meet your expectations on report cards, he might not know how to study. Each year, the schoolwork gets harder and your child will be expected to do more independent learning. Spending some time on study skills before a new school year could be a wise investment. Your child’s former or future teacher can offer suggestions based on your child’s learning style.

Getting Kids’ Bodies Ready

For most kids, their daily lives are much less structured during the summer. The shift back to the school year can be hard. Take into account your kids’ personalities and habits to determine how soon you need to start easing back into the school routine.
Bedtimes: Sleeping late is a sublime summer pleasure. But it can wreak havoc on kids’ bodies if they have to suddenly start waking up early. Consider a step-down approach, gradually getting your kids to go to bed and wake up earlier.
Eating routine: During the summer, many kids get into the habit of grazing, snacking all day long and eating meals at irregular times. Just like you gradually adjust bedtimes, you might want to gradually get back into structured eating habits. For example, consider closing the kitchen during off hours, such as after breakfast and before the mid-morning snack, between snack and lunchtime, between lunchtime and 3 p.m., and then before dinner. Use a cord to block off entries and hang a sign that says “Kitchen Is Closed.”
Immunizations: Ouch! No one likes shots, but you need to make sure your kids’ vaccinations are up to date. Schedule appointments early. If you have done your research and want to decline certain vaccines, check the policies at your child’s school and see which forms you need to sign to get an exemption.

Getting the Family Ready

Family command center: Wall calendars can get crowded if you try to fit all your scheduling information on them. Instead, consider a command center that includes a wall calendar as well as separate charts for responsibilities and behavior. Include a shopping list that everyone can contribute to and pockets or folders to hold school papers and birthday party invitations.
Family meeting: Gather the brood together for a fun, motivating planning session. Talk about school lunch. Will your kids bring their lunch or buy it at school? If they want to bring lunch every day, are they willing to take responsibility for packing it? Talk about homework routines, wake-up times, breakfast, and all the other little details that make for smooth mornings and relaxing evenings.
Schedule activities: Decide which activities each child will participate in. Start filling out forms and writing checks. Work out transportation, especially if your kids have overlapping commitments.
School information: If any of your kids will be starting new schools, schedule a tour and a meeting with the principal. Find out if there is an orientation session as well as the usual curriculum night and other back-to-school activities. Find out when your kids will learn their classroom assignment. Don’t forget to touch base with the parent organization to make sure you don’t miss the first meeting.
Kid responsibilities: If your kids have enjoyed a summer free of obligations, you might want to assign some chores, just to get them back in the habit of being responsible. Look for age-appropriate chores and activities your kids might even embrace. For unpleasant tasks like scrubbing the tub, consider a rotation.
Getting ready for back-to-school doesn’t have to be a drag. Emphasize the new school year as a fresh start and a chance to get off on the right foot and avoid bad habits like procrastination. Keep an upbeat attitude, and your kids will feel positive and energetic, too.

Journalist Patti Ghezzi covered education and schools for 10 years for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She lives in Avondale Estates, Ga., with her family, which includes husband Jason, daughter Celia, and geriatric mutt Albany.

Ease Back-to-School Stress

If back-to-school time has your child wound up, you can help him adjust. Slowly switching to an earlier bedtime and displaying a calm, positive attitude will help.
by Christine McLaughlin

Change may be good, but it’s not necessarily easy. Switching from the laid-back fun in the sun of summer to rules, homework, and routines can be a big jump for parents and children alike. But with a little preparation and the right attitude, it doesn’t have to be so hard.
It’s normal for a child to have a little flutter of anxiety about going back to school, according to Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a clinical psychologist and coauthor of Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child’s True Potential. After all, they’re getting themselves ready for a lot of newness: a teacher, classmates, tasks, and challenges.
Students may have trouble sleeping at the start of the school year, but that’s nothing to worry about, Kennedy-Moore says. More uncomfortable symptoms might include continued trouble sleeping, decreased appetite, or irritability. Severe cases can involve tears, tantrums, and even refusing to go to school.
Susanna DeRocco’s older son, Ben, was one of those severe cases. Every year from kindergarten through 2nd grade, he struggled with separating at back-to-school time. In the morning, tears would start flowing. He would often cling to his mom and refuse to go to school, including not boarding the bus. “As much as my heart was breaking for him, I had to put on a strong front and say ‘I know you can do it. I’m not worried about you at all. You’re going to have a great day,’” says DeRocco, of Towson, Md. “‘And I can’t wait to hear about it when you get home.’”
DeRocco used a lot of strategies with Ben, including role-playing school with stuffed animals, driving the bus route, riding on the practice bus provided by the school district, and visiting the playground and the classroom before the first day of school. They also practiced a farewell where DeRocco would say “See you later, alligator.” Ben would reply with “After a while, crocodile,” and know to break from his mom and get on the bus. The more he practiced, the easier it got, and the anxiety he felt was soon behind him.

Stay Positive

A parent’s attitude has a strong influence on how children view the beginning of school, says Kennedy-Moore. Children pick up on their parents’ feelings, react to them, and often magnify them. “You have to have faith that they’ll be able to get through [changes], even if it’s hard. It’s a powerful message to give kids,” she says. “We don’t want to dismiss their feelings, but we do want to normalize them and say ‘Everyone feels a little nervous going into the classroom, but I really think you’re going to be fine.’”
Kennedy-Moore has asked her own four children a question at back-to-school time: “Somewhere in your class is a child who is waiting to be your friend. How will you figure out who that is?” This sets a positive expectation about the school year, and it helps children notice and be ready to respond to friendly overtures.
Emphasize to your children that anxiety doesn’t have to be a stop signal, she says. “It’s really just our body getting us pumped so we’re ready to handle a new or challenging situation.”

Create Routines

Establishing daily routines at home at the start of the school year (or even before) can also help children adjust. Doing this directly benefits their work in the classroom, where their day is full of routines, says Traci Matturro, a reading specialist at Luxmanor Elementary in Rockville, Md. “Routines need to be modeled to kids no matter what age. They need to be shown what to do, not told what to do,” she says. “And parents need to let their kids know their expectations daily.”
Matturro suggests creating a checklist or flowchart to help children get organized and stay on schedule. “It helps ease anxiety with rushing to get out the door, especially,” she says.
Chris Gay, a mom of 7-year-old twins from Walnut Creek, Calif., did just that. Her two 2nd graders had to be out of the house by 8:10 every morning, but at 8 a.m. they still wouldn’t have brushed their teeth. “I was so frustrated,” she says. To ease the morning stress, she created a laminated checklist that hangs on the refrigerator and reads “Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Take vitamin. Brush teeth. Get backpack.” Ashley and Ryan check off each item before they head out the door.
“It’s been so great. They actually enjoy it,” says Gay. “It helps them feel in charge and that [getting ready is] their responsibility.”
For the afternoon, consider scheduling a routine for homework, snacks, and extracurricular activities. Matturro suggests having children help create the schedule as a way to get them to buy into it.
At night, when setting bedtimes, keep in mind that children between the ages of 5 and 12 need 10 to 11 hours of sleep. Setting an early bedtime at the beginning of the school year may not work as well for older children who can handle being up later. In this case, Kennedy-Moore suggests expecting them to be exhausted the first week when they come home from school and planning for low-key afternoons to give them a chance to decompress.

Establish Fun Traditions

Because attitude matters, if you’re excited for school to start, your children will follow your lead. Having an annual ritual can help ring in the new school year and can be a treasured tradition for years to come. For instance, every year the night before the first day of school, the DeRocco family sits around the backyard fire pit, roasts marshmallows, and talks about their “joys and concerns” for the upcoming year.
And then there’s the red plate surprise. On the first day of school, one of the two DeRocco boys will get the cherished red plate and be able to choose what he wants (with approval) for breakfast. At dinner, the red plate appears at the other boy’s place setting and he gets to pick the meal. “They get excited even when their brother has the red plate,” DeRocco says.
Spending time just hanging out with your children before the start of the school year helps with transition. A parent’s simple presence is comforting and soothing to children and gives them the opportunity to talk if they want to, says Kennedy-Moore.
Once school starts, of course parents want to hear all about it, but it’s important to follow your child’s lead. Some children are chatty and want to discuss every detail. Others will feel overwhelmed with too many questions. They may need to relax first and talk later, or they may only tell you about bits and pieces of their day. Either way, it’s fine, Kennedy-Moore says. “If your child seems calm and reasonably happy, you can assume the start of the school is going well,” she says. “One of the most precious gifts we can give our children is our confidence that they will find their way.”

As a mother of three sons, freelance writer Christine McLaughlin marks the time of year based on the sports season. She writes about parenting, health, pets, and Philadelphia, and lives in the city’s suburbs with her boys, husband, and golden retriever.

How Dads Can Help

When fathers get involved, children do better in school. Here are some simple, effective ways that dads can make a difference.
by Patty Catalano

Traditionally, moms are the ones who build the connection between home and school. Moms are more likely to take part in school activities. Classroom volunteers tend to be moms. And moms typically join the PTO or PTA. In fact, the National PTA was originally known as the Congress of Mothers.
But these days, dads are taking more of a role in their children’s education. It’s a good thing, too. Research shows that even when Mom is highly involved, Dad can make a real difference in his children’s success at school.
According to a report by the National Center for Education Statistics, children are more likely to get mostly A’s if their fathers are involved at school. They are less likely to repeat a grade or to be suspended or expelled. When dads get involved, children also are more likely to enjoy school and take part in extracurricular activities. In short, the evidence offers some pretty compelling reasons why dads should take an active role in their children’s education.
There are lots of ways for a dad to be involved regardless of his schedule or his abilities. Here are some tips and advice for getting started.
Help your child get organized. Make sure all homework, studying, and projects get completed daily and on time.
Keep in touch. Read all notices sent from the school and check the school’s website for happenings and calendar updates. Talk to your child’s teacher if you have questions about your child’s behavior in class or need to discuss struggles he is having with tests or homework.
Attend open houses and parent-teacher conferences. You’ll become more familiar with the staff and the school, and you’ll stay informed about activities, the curriculum, and discipline policies. You’ll also have more opportunities for conversation with other parents, teachers, and the principal.
Offer your help. Do you have a hobby or talent you can share? Schools need a wide range of help, from putting together the newsletter to talking about your job on career day. Helping out doesn’t have to be a yearlong commitment; even an hour or two can make a difference. Talk to the parent group president or the principal about how you might help. Let them know your time constraints. Make some suggestions for how and when you see yourself fitting in.
Join the club. If you’re a dad who finds safety in numbers, consider teaming up with your school’s dads club. (If your school doesn’t have one, perhaps you can talk to your principal about starting one!) Dads clubs typically coordinate volunteer events at school and outings for fathers and kids. The dads club at Mary Farmar Elementary  in Benicia, Calif., organizes Saturday fishing trips, “walk your dog” nights, and board game nights.
Fill in the gaps. Is your school’s building showing its age? Does it need some TLC? Consider offering your time and abilities to make needed updates at school. A group of dads at the Sacred Heart of Mary School in Louisville, Ohio, recently warmed up their school by building removable insulators for the school’s drafty, 40-year-old windows.
Spruce up the place. Help out with landscaping or beautification projects on your school’s campus. Any help a dad can give to improve the outside of a school is equally important to assistance offered in the classroom, says Mary Farmar principal Susan Sullivan. “The school is a community, and we are here to make this the best and safest place to learn, and we need to have pride in our buildings and grounds,” she says. Her dads club recently installed a sprinkler system in the school garden; next, they’ll replace the garden’s picket fence.
Attend functions for fathers. Take advantage of dad-centric events such as father-daughter dances and “doughnuts with dad” breakfasts. Each year at its Dad Volunteer Day, the Solvang (Calif.) Elementary PTO invites dozens of dads, uncles, and grandfathers to assist students in the classroom, work on Mother’s Day projects, grade papers, serve pizza, and even jump rope at recess. The preK-8 Old Trail School in Bath, Ohio, hosts an annual “dads dinner,” an evening to socialize over a meal and learn about ways to get involved at school. Many fathers even sign up at the event to assist with the school’s annual golf outing, which supports a financial aid fund for needy students.
Get your feet wet. Seek out opportunities to volunteer for school-related activities that you and your child can enjoy together. For Phil Ostrom, a dad at Old Trail, that meant getting into the school pool and helping out with son Duncan’s swimming lessons.
Assist in the classroom. If you want to appreciate the challenges that teachers have on a daily basis, Dean Carmichael, another Old Trail dad, recommends going into the trenches—even if only for a day. Carmichael helps out in his daughter’s kindergarten class every Tuesday, doing everything from cutting and pasting to assisting with math projects to tearing down bulletin boards.
Any role you take on or time you invest to become more involved in your child’s education is time well-spent. And even if it doesn’t always occur directly alongside your child or within his classroom, Phil Ostrom will tell you from experience that it matters just the same; your child is watching and learning from you. For the past four years, Ostrom has volunteered at his school’s spring fling, grilling hamburgers and hot dogs. “Duncan does not do that with me,” he says, “but this year he said, ‘Dad, are we grilling again this year?’ ”

Teacher's Tips: How Parents Can Help

Practical advice for working with your child’s teacher.
by Patty Catalano

Communicating with your child’s teacher is one way to help him succeed at school. But just how often should you contact the teacher, and what questions should you ask? And when do a parent’s questions or behavior tip from appropriate to meddlesome?
We asked Jerry L. Parks, a social studies teacher at Georgetown (Ky.) Middle School and a member of the 2007 USA Today All-USA Teacher Team, to share his thoughts. Parks keeps in touch with parents through email, class websites, and phone calls. He is the author of Help! My Child Is Starting Middle School! A Survival Handbook for Parents.

What differences do you notice in students with involved parents?

“Parents who take an active interest in their child’s work and school well-being are one of the biggest contributors to my students’ success,” Parks says. Children of involved parents typically have higher self-esteem and have fewer behavior problems in school. And students’ grades usually improve when their parents become involved.

How can parents stay informed about their child’s school performance?

If your school posts grades online, be sure to check them often. Emailing the teacher is also a good way to get a quick status report. “Email has been a godsend,” he says, because it is “less intrusive for the teacher and less threatening for the parent.”

What are some questions parents should ask about their children?

Ask the teacher whether she thinks your child is giving his best effort in class and whether she has noticed any significant changes in your child’s behavior or grades, Parks suggests. It’s also a good idea to find out whether the teacher has concerns about the friends your child has chosen. Make sure you understand the teacher’s policy for making up missed work, and don’t forget to ask about the best way to keep in touch throughout the year.

What should parents do if they feel the teacher assigns an excessive amount of homework?

First, try to find out whether the amount of work really is excessive. “Ten minutes per grade level each night is about right,” Parks says. If the level of homework does seem like too much, think about whether it happens often or only once in a while: “Some units and projects simply require more homework,” he says.

How should a parent approach the teacher about this?

Don’t go in with the attitude that the teacher is wrong. Instead, ask for advice on how you can help your child deal with the excessive homework. “Allowing the teacher to suggest solutions is far more effective than challenging their wisdom,” says Parks.

How should a parent address a grade that the student feels he or she did not deserve?

Instead of being confrontational, calmly explain that your child is upset or confused about the grade. Ask the teacher how your child’s grade compared with the rest of the class or the overall grade level. “This will give the parent the information they really want to know without making the teacher feel threatened,” Parks says. It may also help the teacher realize whether the assignment was too difficult for all students.

Some parents are just not comfortable approaching teachers. How should they get started?

Keep in mind that teachers may also be nervous about talking to parents, Parks says. Break the ice by sending the teacher an email or personal note at the start of the school year, and be sure to attend your school’s open house to meet the teacher. If the teacher has done something that made a difference for your child, schedule a meeting to thank him. Finally, Parks suggests, join the school PTO. “There is security in numbers!”

Top 5 Ways Parents Can Help Their Children Succeed in School

1. Make sure your child is at school every day possible. “Missed work is generally more of a loss than made-up work is a gain,” Parks says. “There is no substitute for attendance.”
2. Designate a time and place for your child to do homework. If he does not have homework, have him use the time to read. “Routine is the essence of a child’s life,” he says.
3. Keep in touch with teachers, but don’t overdo it. “Most teachers appreciate parents caring enough to keep in touch a few times a term but do not appreciate parents expecting contact on a regular basis.”
4. Teach your child character—it “will improve social and academic skills more than anything else,” Parks says. “Some things are simply wrong, and the world your child will grow up in will punish crimes, so give your child a head start.”
5. Make time every day to talk with your child about the day’s activities. “Let them know you care, and really listen to what they have to say.”