FOLLOW YEASIR SIR

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

A Few Limericks


Full

When we're full we only want more
to fill up the warehouse next door
when greed takes over
rolling in clover
who cares what tomorrows has in store

************

PHENOMENAL

Phenomenal things take place
sometimes in front of my face
I think it's strange
down at the grange
but need to present my case

and...

PHENOMENAL

Phenomenal as it may seem to you
the fact of the matter is it is true
it's hard to understand
and not what I had planned
but what the hell can one guy like me do

************

AS AUTUMN 1

As autumn colors fade away
for me it's just another day
the air's got a chill
so I took a pill
and find myself starting to sway
[either me, or this room is spinning]

and...

AS AUTUMN 2

As autumn gets colder and colder
I find myself getting much older
but that's OK
some other day
I might even get a bit bolder
[but then again...]

and...

AS AUTUMN 3

As autumn turns into winter
I somehow got a big splinter
it got in my hand
it's infected man
I got to see Doctor Kintler

[asap]

and...

AS AUTUMN 4

As autumn days get shorter
there are some things I taught her
like get up at dawn
before the days gone
and wear the socks I bought her
[she's got cold feet]

************

A SPIRIT

A spirit came to me yesterday
she had a lot she wanted to say
yes, she was there
but just like air
I couldn't hold her in any way

and...

A SPIRIT

A spirit lives inside of me
when I die it will be set free
where will it go
how do I know
in time I guess I'll get to see

************

Ruth

I knew a lady called Ruth
she was wild and very uncouth
she played with my heart
tore my world apart
but I finally learned the truth

************

Some Oranges

Some Oranges I have had were green
they were sweet if ya know what I mean
they grew on a tree
it seems, just for me
I'd take them home first, to make them clean


and

Some Oranges can come in a can
how they get in there I don't understand
add water and mix
you'll get your fix
they say vitamin C is very good for a man


************

The Laundry

The Laundry is something I hate to do
and I bet that you do too
I just throw them all in
add soap and watch them spin
I mix my colors, and my whites to get through

and then there's this one:

The Laundry here is always a mess
and yes, I will confess
I mix colors with my whites
and they don't look bright
but they are clean, never the less

************

THE KNOWLEDGE they want us to learn
will only help us, in the long run to burn
there's only one truth
so what's the use
you may as well be ready when it's your turn...


burn baby burn

THE KNOWLEDGE I've learned on my own
now that all my wild oats have been sown
will help me one day
no matter what ya say
but I don't want to have to face it alone

************

Potatoes

Potatoes are real good in soup
fermented they put ya in a loop
they come with eyes
I don't know why
they can't see to jump through a hoop
and then there is this one

Potatoes come out of the ground
there's so many different kinds around
you can eat them all day
what more can I say
but eating them baked is the best way I found...

************

The Soap

The soap they sell now'a days
leaves the bath water with a haze
soap chemicals float
so please take note
to get back to the "natural way" phase

and

The Soap Two

The soap ya use to take a bath
could cause you a lot of wrath
if you drop the soap
bend over and hope
that no one will get in your path

and

The Soap Three

The Soap can be a lot of fun
soap yourself up until you're done
it feels real good
like ya knew it would
to stay clean just to stay out of the sun


************

The Drugs

The drugs that they give you to take
must surely be some kind'a mistake
they make you feel good
like you know they should
but you end up face down in the lake

and

The Drugs you can buy off the street
are strong and can make ya feel neat
you can go up or down
or you can go all around
you'd be amazed at the people you'll meet

and

The Drugs that they gave me all day
helped to keep the pain away
but they made me feel bad
I got depressed and sad
and didn't want to go out to play

************

King Kong


some ladies call me King Kong
because of my oversized dong
if I treat them right
they stay the whole night
just singing their siren song

************

At Supper

At Supper last night with you
we just didn't know what to do
so we ate and ate
it was not a fun date
and it looks like you and I are through

and

At Supper last night you got sick
after I told you not to lick
the dirty pans clean
now you know what I mean
tell me why are you so very thick?

************

A Cross

They hung the Lord on A Cross
and even though He is the boss
they nailed Him good
took what they could
for our sins He paid the cost

************

The Suffering

The Suffering cuts like a knife
the pain, the struggle the strife
is well worth it
because after bit
we'll all be in the after life

************

Some Raininess

Some Raininess must fall now and then
and as always, it will come again
just stay inside
try to hide
spend the day in your bed with a friend...

************

Style

Style is always on trial
sometimes it'll bring a smile
with dresses cut low
so much will show
for more than just awhile

************

ALLAYED

Allayed were true fears we earned
for the right to slash and burn
tearing it up all night
staying out of the light
it's about time we got a turn

************

or how about this one?

ALLAYED

Allayed were the rewards I earned
it's about time that I learned
she's really no good
so I'll hang out down the hood
it's time for the tables to turn

************

DISPLAYED

Her best features were always DISPLAYED
in the store front window where she laid
her love was for sale
she'd even make your bail
the girl was the best when she got payed

************

Share

To share is only fair
don't act like you don't care
you write all the time
your words blow my mind
yet you say you've never been there

**************

School

He recalls his days in school
always acting the fool
he wasted his time
a real low life slime
never learned the golden rule

****************

Love

Desiring love's not so bad
even though you end up sad
you do the best you can
then loose again
it's enough to drive you mad!

****************

Llama

ever seen a baby llama
nursing from it's mama
it sucks the whole tit
loving every minute of it
putting poor mama in trauma

Or maybe this one sounds better?

Llama Two

ever seen a baby llama
nursing from it's mama
it sucks the whole tit
till mom has enough of it
pulling away causing baby trauma

****************

Bride

A bride who keeps it open wide
and allows her man inside
will keep him at home
and never be alone
giving her man so much pride

****************

Drool

have you ever seen a fool droll
as he sits and plays with his tool
just as happy as can be
with a great big stiffy
paying no attention to any of the rules

**************

There was an Old Man of Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, called Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
- Anonymous
There was a young lady of Lucca
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree
And said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
- Edward Lear
There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin:
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
- Edward Lear
Few thought he was even a starter;
There were many who thought themselves smarter,
But he ended a PM
CH and OM
An earl and a Knight of the Garter.
- Clement Attlee
There once was a man from Peru
Who had a lot of growing up to do,
He’d ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22.
- Anonymous
A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds that left her quite nude
Saw a man come along
And unless we are wrong
You expected this line to be lewd.
- Anonymous
There once was a young lady named bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.
- Anonymous
There was an old man with a beard
Who said, "it’s just how I feared!
Two owls and a hen
Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard.
- Anonymous
 MY VOICE 1

My voice was once good for some singing
it sounded great when I was swinging
on a high note
my voice would float
and has been known to leave ears ringing

and...

MY VOICE 2

My voice sounds scratchy like a dry bone
it even sounds that way on the phone
trust me that's ok
I've nothing to say
and just want to be left all alone

and...

MY VOICE 3

My voice now a days sounds very weak
one might think I was humble and meek
but that's not the case
just look at my face
you will find all the answers you seek

************

RETRACTING 1

Retracting what I said yesterday
I think I'll just go on my own way
I heard your advice
you did say it twice
but it's more than black and white; it's gray

and...

RETRACTING 2

Retracting a retractable thing
both my muse and my heart like to sing
about better days
a self educed haze
made my head spin and my both ears ring

and...

RETRACTING 3

Retracting all this barium I drank
really gave me gas that made the room stank
my belly was full
tired of this bull
who in the world I wonder should I thank

and...

RETRACTING 4

Retracting contracted contractors
wish I could be their benefactors
but money is tight
some day I just might
have things done over with retractors...

************

MY COUGHING 1

My coughing is not getting better
my doctor just sent me a letter
he said don't worry
there is no hurry
keep your spirit light as a feather

and...

MY COUGHING 2

My coughing is slowly getting worse
this must be some kind of a weird curse
each and every day
I just hack away
my medicine has emptied my purse

and..

MY COUGHING 3

My coughing can hurt me real bad
and when it hurts I feel I'm had
I want to feel better
got a dear John letter
now I'm a had sad coughing lad

and...

MY COUGHING 4

My coughing is out of control
it hurts all the way to my soul
I've been told by them
to spit out the flem
so I collect it in a bowl

************

THREE GLIMMERS 1

Three glimmers way up in the sky
one night had some how caught my eye
I couldn't be sure
just what they were for
to this day I still don't know why

and...

THREE GLIMMERS 2

Three glimmers of lust in her eye
told me I am a lucky guy
we spent the night
she was alright
I got winded and thought I'd die

and...

THREE GLIMMERS 3

Three glimmers of light from nowhere
shined on me to show that they care
it made me feel good
but misunderstood
why "the light" picked on me to share

************

ROUTINES 1

Routines have become routine
I'm sure you know what I mean
spending every day
in the same old way
is enough to make me scream

and...

ROUTINES 2

Routines have become part of life
yet they cause us all too much strife
they get on our nerves
with sharp bends and curves
and can cut sometimes like a knife

and...

ROUTINES 3

Routines help to pass away hours
things like sleeping, eating and showers
they're no longer fun
but when they are done
we may have time to smell the flowers

and...

ROUTINES 4

Routines can get very old and stale
until one ends up in county jail
but that's no fun
when your time's done
you got to pay some money for bail

and...

ROUTINES 5

Routines keep us all stuck in a rut
we go to work just to pay our nut
day after day
for little pay
no matter pedigree or a mutt

************

BANANAS 1

Bananas was a Woody Allen movie
and Woody is so very funny to me
he's not very tall
and I bet he saw
everything they way he'd like it to be

and...

BANANAS 2

Bananas are good off the tree
and they are very good for me
they come big or small
and I've seen them all
the best are the ones you get free

and...

BANANAS 3

Bananas are natures perfect food
I don't mean to be pushy or rude
but they are the best
and I will confess
that I eat a few every day dude

************

A KETTLE 1

A kettle boils over the fire
the bubbles just get higher and higher
the soup smells good
just like it should
and I love it but I am a liar...
[yuck!]

and...

A KETTLE 2

A kettle once shiny and bright
just sits on the stove over night
not used anymore
so what is it for
it's not a very pleasant sight
[all dented and burnt]

and...

A KETTLE 3

A kettle now with a lost lid
was kept in the cupboard and hid
it's no longer new
so it's days are through
we've had it since I was a kid
[and that's been a long time]

**************

MY REASONS

My reasons for doing what I do
may seem silly and stupid to you
I make my own way
don't care what they say
maybe some time you should try it too

************

Declaring 1

Declaring that dollars make sense
has proved to be near to immense
it's hard to understand
I am a simple man
whose been known to get too intense

and

Declaring 2

Declaring as 'valid' the world
has gotten me hurled, furled, and swirled
leaving me confused
real sad with the blues
but happy my hair is still curled

and

Declaring 3

Declaring that anything matters
invites us to fall into tatters
as we go along
singing a song
suddenly everything just shatters

**************

THE CHIRPINGS

The chirpings of birds in the morning
come to me as kind of a warning
at the break of day
what more can I say
the sun rise is more than adorning

and...

THE CHIRPINGS
The chirpings I often hear at dawn
don't last very long and are soon gone
once the birds are fed
they go rest their head
leaving no bread at all on my lawn

**************

CONFORMING

Conforming is something I never did well
I think authority can go straight to hell
not one of the fools
never follow rules
and yes, not conforming makes me feel quite swell

************

A Four Leaf Clover

I found a four leaf clover
that had somehow rolled over
on top of my bowl
of salad and roll
out on the cliffs of Dover...

************

A SALAD

A salad is a good thing to eat
it's better for you than any meat
be sure to say please
and ask for some cheese
with a nice dressing it can't be beat

************

THE LABORS

The labors labored every day
help make us stronger in a way
get paid by the hour
then go home to shower
you want to leave but got to stay

************

A NEWSPAPER

A newspaper once came to my door
now I have to buy one at the store
the gossip and crap
make me want to nap
and I ain't reading headlines no more

************

THE MUSIC

The music they play now'a days
irreratates me in many ways
they sing of doom
with a boom boom
I hope it's just another phase

************

THE SODAS

The sodas you buy at the store
don't taste that good any more
they give me gas
so I will pass
and I'll just drink fruit juice galore

************

THE BREAD

The bread that you can buy in the store
just don't do it for me any more
sliced just right
enriched white
I go to the bakery to score

************

HEROIC

Heroic actions can cause you much pain
being heroic some times is insane
take care of yourself
save all of your wealth
be careful you don't end up with a cane

************

PRECISION

Precision is a thing of the past
we should have know that it would not last
quality is gone
quantity lives on
and they pump them all out way too fast

************

SOME HAMS

Some hams can be bought with a bone
and they have a real nice rich tone
give me a slice
oh my it's nice
when I eat just leave me alone

************

A COMB

A comb is a funny thing indeed
you only use it when you really need
every hair in place
even on your face
becareful because they can make you bleed

and

A COMB [2]

A comb is something I don't need at all
my hair is curleier than most you saw
I just let it grow
a pony tail, ya know
I shake my head and in place it'll fall

************

Lost

I've heard that it's you who stays lost
and you do no matter the cost
hide away
every day
so cold that you're starting to frost

************

Grinding Along

They say to just keep "grinding alone"
so very happy you sing a song
but that's ok
enjoy the day
after all a day don't last that long

************

FOREVER

Forever is a long time
and I know that one day I'm
going to be
dead but so free
till then I'll just draw and write rhyme

and then there is this one...

FOREVER Two

Forever was how long you said you'd love me
but that was way back in nine-teen eighty three
where did you go
I'll never know
but I do know that things are as they should be!

************

A CHEESE

A cheese can be long or round or square
some smell so bad you wish they weren't there
some have holes
while others molds
some you can cut and some you can tear


and then there's this one

Well now it seems we both like sharp cheese
on a crisp cracker or fresh toast please
I like jack cheese too
just like you seem to
when too sharp it stinks and attracts fleas

************

"DISPOSING"

DISPOSING 1

Disposing of our trash can be tuff
they will bury it there in the ruff
tons of our trash
buried for cash
and then they go and they do some snuff

DISPOSING 2

Disposing of things I don't need
I usually do with great heed
out they will go
on with the show
and now my broken heart will bleed

************

"THE JUICES"

THE JUICES 1

The juices that come from tropical fruit
are good for you but you don't give a hoot
they taste real nice
poured over ice
and they help to take stains out of your suit

THE JUICES 2

The juices were flowing real good
exactly as I hoped they would
just wanting to cuddle
she sat in a puddle
and we did the best that we could

************

"MY ANGER"

MY ANGER 1

My anger some times get the better of me
I allow it to go ahead and run free
hine sight is twenty twenty
no sir this is not funny
but that is just the way that things seem to be

and then there's this one

MY ANGER 2

My anger will some times go away
only to return another day
even in my dreams
silly as it seems
and that's all about anger I'll say

************

SPAGHETTI

Spaghetti 1

Spaghetti is something I know all about
and of that fact I beg you please have no doubt
I eat them when I can
have them again and again
I always get the sauce all over my snout

and then there's this one...

Spaghetti 2

Spaghetti made by mama is the best
and if you would please keep all of the rest
she makes them from scratch
wips up a big batch
and I just can't eat enough I'll confess

************

"My Ignorance"

MY IGNORANCE 1

My ignorance can never be erased
when with your presents I am some times graced
I try to do my best
and yes I will confess
I can never get my shoe strings laced

and then there's this one...

MY IGNORANCE 2

My ignorance always seems to come out
I'll run when I should walk and I shout
what do I know
onward I go
forgetting to learn what life's about

************

CONFUSION

Confusion has started to set in
it's looks like i just can't win
one day at a time
alone writing rhyme
wasting time writing is not a sin

************

"A Sadness"

A SADNESS 1

A new sadness has come into my life
and I've been forced to pay a higher price
I'm sick as can be
wanting to be free
to find something that could help would be nice

A SADNESS 2

A sadness is tearing me apart
a lady I loved just broke my heart
she went away
what can I say
I'd just forget her if I were smart

A SADNESS 3

A sadness has come over me
because of something you can't see
it is deep inside
eating at my pride
but that's just the way things have to be

************

"THE TABLOIDS"

THE Tabloids 1

The tabloids are on sale every day
and you can't believe a thing that they say
they sell them real cheap
so you'll take a peep
it's best to just leave them and walk away

and then there's this one...

The Tabolids 2

The tabloids never give you the truth
they tell dark tall tales of folks like sweet Ruth
who said I forgot
when she smoked some pot
and got busted by a detective sloth

************

A CALENDAR

A Calender 1

A calendar can be made out of clay
as long as it still tells you the right day
hang it on the wall
write on it and all
to remind you of what you have to say

and then there's this one... A Calender 2

A calendar is an amazing tool
and to never use one makes you a fool
it can help you plan
and you'll feel grand
but they are all not correct as a rule

************

She: Two Limericks...

She 1

She left me all alone one sad day
but yet I know I will be ok
let her go
what's she know
about life and making her own way

** NEXT **

She said "thanks kindly for the wonderful spanking"
as she left her irons were happily clanking
she is in the pink
as her chains go clink
she makes her way down town to do daily banking

**************

THE DENTURES

The Dentures 1

The dentures are rotting in a cup
they won't stay in or even stay up
he tried some glue
but don't have a clue
because after all he's a sick pup

THE DENTURES 2

The dentures he uses look real good
they always stay in place like they should
they feel firm
eat the worm
drink tequiela as only you could

**************

THE YOGURT 1

The yogurt they eat in Peru
is different I'm telling you
smells real bad
best I had
now none of the store bought will do
and then there's this one....

THE YOGURT 2

All the yogurt you can buy in the store
it just don't do much for me any more
fruit on the bottom
I just forgot 'em
I have fresh made delivered to my door
and then there is this one...

THE YOGURT 3

The best yogurt eaten in Russia they say
will help you to live many an extra day
living to be 103
would be ok with me
I would have much more time to go out and play

**************

A STOVE

A stove can burn either wood or gas
and they used them a lot in the past
touch them not
when they're hot
the new electric cooks clean and fast...

**************

"A PIGEON"

A PIGEON #1

A pigeon goes coo coo coo
becareful not to walk in it's poo
they shit everywhere
they just don't care
what's a city dweller to do

and then there is this one...

A Pigeon 2

A pigeon taste good cooked over an open fire
until you've had one you can't call me a liar
please use use a spit
to cook and eat it
before you know it you'll burn with desire

and then there is this one...

A PIGEON 3

In Philly a pigeon is a rat on the wing
all they ever do is eat they never sing
they get in the way
every where every day
watch your head they shit on everything

**************

A GOOSE

A goose is much smaller than a moose
and since it can't fight it must call a truce
it'll just run away
fight some other day
but one thing that's for sure is it's loose...
[loose as a goose in fact]

**************

OUR SHOPPING 1

Our shopping can be a real bore
what do we need our shopping for
let them deliver
give me a sliver
of the pie from down near the core

and...

OUR SHOPPING 2

Our shopping is a bad habit
it just has to stop dab nab it
you spend my money
and it's not funny
I'm so tired of your bullshit

and...

OUR SHOPPING 3

Our shopping every once a week
forces us for bargains to seek
like ugly swans
we clip coupons
buying juice containers that leak

and...

OUR SHOPPING 4

Our shopping always takes hours
when we get home we need showers
the mall is so hot
and then we forgot
to get a card and some flowers

and...

OUR SHOPPING 5

Our shopping for a xmas gift
supposedly our spirits lift
best to give not receive
with a trick up my sleeve
I stand by and watch seasons shift

************

RIDICULOUS 1

Ridiculous is all I can say
about what I saw the other day
right out in the street
it was kind of neat
in a very surreal sort of way

and

RIDICULOUS 2

Ridiculous rumors abound
listen and you can hear the sound
of some folks babbling
but only dabbling
in fact they're just messing around

and

RIDICULOUS 3

Ridiculous as it may seem to you
I still don't know exactly what to do
stuck in a corner
damn near a goner
it's not much fun when you know your time's through

RIDICULOUS 4

Ridiculous is an under statement
about the effects of the elatement
that we were drinking
while we were thinking
about finding the right place for placement

RIDICULOUS 5

Ridiculous to me was her stance
not to mention the way that she'd dance
while out on the floor
she acted the whore
not very interested in romance

************

Talk

You probably never ever should talk at all
stuck in a corner with your back against the wall
silence is golden they say
keep your mouth shut tight today
and if you never stand up then you'll never fall

************

THE PLANET 1

The planet is getting smaller every day
no matter what you heard or what people say
that's they way it be's
cutting down the trees
won't help the planet or save us any way

and then there is this one....

THE PLANET 2

The planet is really perfectly round
that is the one thing true that they had found
the planet will bloat
and yes it will float
around the sun even when it goes down

************

THE UNIVERSE

The universe I must confess
will soon be another big mess
if and when man
gets an new plan
and then moves out there more or less

************

ENDURING

Enduring is not easy to do
for me, but I wonder about you
what do you say
it's a new day
what's your plan as to how to get through

************

THE BANKS 1

The banks close to early for me
why must they all close around three
no place to park
and now it's dark
it's getting hard for me to see

and this one:

THE BANKS 2

The banks of the river are so muddy
and very hard to climb up on for me
the water is fast
nothing ever last
but things are exactly as they should be

************

APARTMENTS

Apartments are very hard to find
it can make ya go out of your mind
it will make you cry
the rent is so high
it is too late once the lease is signed

************

OUR GARBAGE

Our garbage follows us around
hide your face when you are down
iron out the kinks
because garbage stinks
the news spreads quickly across town

************

THE STORMS

The storms that come in and out of our life
can some times cut us just like a sharp knife
so take it slow
one day you'll know
there is no way to get away from strife

************

EQUALITY

Equality between the sexes they say
will definitely be balanced out some day
his, her and ours
Venus and Mars
will work out fine sooner or later some way

************

SMALL

Is it true that you are rather small
and you always respond to the call
eat all your food
please don't be rude
and maybe some day you will grow tall

************

DIMENSIONS

Dimensions are not like before
now a days there are really four
depth, height and width
just drink a fifth
and then you will see so much more

************

AN ISSUE

An issue that hangs around
is the very loud bass sound
from a car
very far
they should turn the music down

************

WATERS

Her anger is like lumpy gravy
she's got a foul mouth from the Navy
she gets mad
then she's sad
the waters of her life are wavey

************

AN IDIOT 1

An idiot and I talked one fine day
now that idiot has gone far away
I can't say where
but it's not here
and that same idiot is gone to stay

and then there's this one

AN IDIOT 2

An idiot can be your friend
but I never want one again
way too moody
at least for me
when I had too much I say when

************

TRYING

you may be a pill or a card
but one thing is you do try hard
take it slow
when you go
be careful not to slip on lard

************

TURTLES

If you ever saw turtles in the spring
it sure would make your sad broken heart sing
they are not snappy
they all seem sappy
and all day long they don't do anything

************

ALLOWING

Allowing things to go as they will
has given my spirit a big thrill
some more each day
goes it's own way
and I feel like the fool on the hill

************

TRANSFORMED

Transformed into less than I was
in my ear I can hear a buzz
in a crowd
it gets loud
after I shave I get new fuzz

**************

TO UNDERSTAND 1

To understand is not easy
well at least it is not for me
every new day
in some new way
things are not the way they should be
[just how should they be anyhow?]

and...

TO UNDERSTAND 2

To understand you got to open your mind
you have no idea of the wonders you'll find
the world is a stage
and you're all the rage
when you decided to keep your nose to the grind
[what'a bloddy mess]

and..

TO UNDERSTAND 3

To understand this thing called life
has been causing me too much strife
when will it all end
every now and then
I almost wish I had a wife
[but only almost]

************

THE LAUNDRY 1

The laundry soon gets out of hand
no matter how life may seem planned
but it just don't seem right
to do laundry at night
and I still do not understand

and...

THE LAUNDRY 2

The laundry possesses its ways
of breeding a brightness that stays
while water gets murkey
the clothes get all perky
oh how I do hate laundry days

and...

THE LAUNDRY 3

The laundry needs to be done a certain way
or at least that's what I hear my mother say
don't mix color and white
if you want them real bright
I'll wait to do my laundry some other day
[when she's not around]

and...

THE LAUNDRY 4

The laundry sits there in a big pile
it begins to smell after awhile
it needs to be done
but laundry's no fun
I hope this Limerick brings you a smile
[or at least a smirk]

************

CONDEMNED 1

Condemned here I sit all alone
I've turned off my desk telephone
locked up the door
don't want no more
all my wild seeds have been sown
and...

CONDEMNED 2

Condemned to use only your pen name
responsibility comes with fame
in the lime light
you feel so right
trying hard to play the same old game

and...

CONDEMNED 3

Condemned to remember my past
wondering why memories last
they dance in my head
while I lay in bed
and I never fall asleep fast

and...

CONDEMNED 4

Condemned to be a broken man
I just can't seem to understand
what happened to me
not the man you see
what have the powers that be planned

and...

CONDEMNED 5

Condemned to be all I can be
God has a plan that's just for me
it may take time
but that's no crime
just as long as my soul is free

************

SOME CONCEPTS 1

Some concepts of life's true meaning
to me need a real good cleaning
they got it wrong
it won't be long
everything we know will be leaning
[to one side or the other]

and...

SOME CONCEPTS 2

Some concepts of Art and Poetry
don't mean very much at all to me
if it comes from your heart
it just has to be art
that much should be very plain to see
[art is everywhere; look for it]

and...

SOME CONCEPTS 3

Some concepts folks have of a God
make me tired and want to nod
I just get board
and in accord
I feel they should be beat with a rod
[spare the rod spoil the child]

and...

SOME CONCEPTS 4

Some concepts conceived late at night
never do seem to work out right
with a foggy head
laying in bed
there's no reason to get uptight
[just relax]

************

COMPASSION 1

Compassion is a great quality
why don't you show some of it to me
it will not hurt you
it's easy to do
and will help to set your spirit free

and...

COMPASSION 2

Compassion is so hard to find
it's starting to work on my mind
not one person cares
about sharing shares
while keeping their nose to the grind

and....

COMPASSION 3

Compassion is a wonderful virtue
it's easy for me to care about you
it may not show
but now you know
I'd do anything you ask me to do

and....

COMPASSION 4

Compassion is a very wonderful virtue
it is so easy for me to care about you
it may not show
but now you know
I'd do ALMOST anything you ask me to do

************

OUR LOSTNESS 1

Our lostness is out of control
we're lost all the way to our soul
don't make a big fuss
nothing can save us
just keep in mind at least we're whole
[or as whole as we can be considering...]

and...

OUR LOSTNESS 2

Our lostness may very well plea
it's the time to use maps to see
just where we are
too near or far
from where we are supposed to be
[are we there yet?]

and...

OUR LOSTNESS 3

Our lostness is not our own fault
to keep "knowing" locked in a vault
was not my plan
I don't understand
and always thought I was the salt
[the salt of the land]

************

THE WOUNDS 1

The wounds have been licked and licked
never the less I've been tricked
where's my share
it's not fair
why am I the one fate picked

and...

THE WOUNDS 2

The wounds of the planet are real
can you imagine how they feel
it's very sad
and getting bad
are you sure you know the real deal

and this one....

THE WOUNDS 3

The wounds left a nasty old scar
late last night while driving my car
she said to me
it's plain to see
we're not going to get to far

and one more...

THE WOUNDS 4

The wounds may heal with time
till then they'll ooze some slime
don't make a fuss
it's only puss
oozing is not a crime

************

Relax 1

Relax and relax and relax,
since life is some form of an ax
that will chop
if you stop
ever paying your income tax

and...

Relax 2

Relax all the laws of the world
and Nature may seem none too swirled!
rose colored glasses
are for pure asses
who pay just to get their hair curled
and...

Relax 3

Relax is what humans must do
when life is a horrible zoo
like my every day
with nothing to say
about I will ever get through

and...

Relax 4

Relax the constraints on my breath,
and I then may scream for huge death
while up all night
by the moonlight
doing an ounce of crystal meth

************

IDEALLY 1

Ideally your ideals are ideal
any idea how that makes me feel
you know right from wrong
and where you belong
but by now you should know the real deal

and this one...

IDEALLY 2

Ideally everything will go fine
when we do get together to dine
it won't be too late
we're meeting at eight
but she don't eat chicken, beef or swine

and...

IDEALLY 3

Ideally is the way things should go
and just in case you really don't know
I wish you good luck
but don't give a fuck
if you ever get to see the show

and one more...

IDEALLY 4

Ideally things will go my way
or at least they did yesterday
when I was young
a sirens song sung
oh how I wish them days could stay

************

THE LEFTOVERS 1

The leftovers just sat there on the table
not even one of us awake were able
to clean up the mess
and I will confess
I don't believe in Christmas or the fable

and...

THE LEFTOVERS 2

The leftovers will make a nice soup
to return some time in the meal loop
with rice and veggies
we'll all get wedgies
if and when we stand up as a group
[eat your soup and like it]

and..

THE LEFTOVERS 3

The leftovers sit in the refrigerator
they can all be re-heated a little later
after all they're still good
and I do wish I could
meet the new girl on the block feed her and date her
[if she likes leftovers]

and...

THE LEFTOVERS 4

The leftovers from yesterdays meal
once re-heated always seem to heal
desires to eat
more turkey meat
with some mashed potatoes that are real
[no instant for me please]

************

A CHILL
A chill is what I get from her
so cold all I can say is BBRRRR
why's she act that way
every freaking day
everything I see is a blur

and..

A CHILL
A chill has fallen over here
it's cold, crisp, fresh and very clear
winters on it's way
insides where I'll stay
calling my blanket and tea dear

and...

A CHILL
A chill is in the air again
when is the cold going to end
ice rain and snow
no place to go
time to stay inside with a friend

************

RELAX 1
Relax then relax some more
turn off the phone and lock the door
take it real easy
don't be too sleazy
who can know what is in store

and...

RELAX 2
Relax is what they all tell me
although things aren't as they should be
it's way too late
to change my fate
it's really not that hard to see

and this one...

RELAX 3
Relax every chance you can get
and please don't you ever forget
to forget your sorrow
there's always tomorrow
plans aren't like concrete; firm and set

and then there's this one..

RELAX 4
Relax and take a load off your feet
you can sit here in my special seat
then walk in my shoes
and let me hear yous
say life for Jim Nasium is sweet
and one last one...

RELAX 5
Relax and then relax some more
turn off the phone and lock up the door
it will be OK
she is on her way
thank goodness for a good cheap whore

************

THE MUSIC 1
The music danced around in my head
I guess I should have just stayed in bed
it lasted all night
up until first light
I couldn't hear any thing they said...

and...

THE MUSIC 2
The music from the seventies
as free as the birds and the bees
was psychedelic
I am a relic
and I can not find my car keys

and...

THE MUSIC 3
The music of nature I hear
makes me know animals are near
while out in the wood
I do wish I could
show you there is nothing to fear


************

THE MUSIC 1
The music danced around in my head
I guess I should have just stayed in bed
it lasted all night
up until first light
I couldn't hear any thing they said...

and...

THE MUSIC 2
The music from the seventies
as free as the birds and the bees
was psychedelic
I am a relic
and I can not find my car keys

and...

THE MUSIC 3
The music of nature I hear
makes me know animals are near
while out in the wood
I do wish I could
show you there is nothing to fear

************

THE WOUNDS 1
The wounds have been licked and licked
never the less I've been tricked
where's my share
it's not fair
why am I the one fate picked

and...

THE WOUNDS 2
The wounds of the planet are real
can you imagine how they feel
it's very sad
and getting bad
are you sure you know the real deal

and this one....

THE WOUNDS 3
The wounds left a nasty old scar
late last night while driving my car
she said to me
it's plain to see
we're not going to get to far

and one more...

THE WOUNDS 4
The wounds may heal with time
till then they'll ooze some slime
don't make a fuss
it's only puss
oozing is not a crime

************

DIVINE 1
Divine intervention is now needed
my desires are so very seeded
stuck in the same old rut
I feel just like a slut
and my rose garden needs to be weeded

and...

DIVINE 2
Divine was the way she made me feel
all the love she had was really real
by the light of the moon
we cuddle like a spoon
after we finished a good hot meal

and...

DIVINE 2
Divine is the love He offers
don't listen to all the scoffers
He is very real
this is how I feel
during a sermon; no coughers

************

SOME CONCEPTS 1
Some concepts of life's true meaning
to me need a real good cleaning
they got it wrong
it won't be long
everything we know will be leaning
[to one side or the other]

and...

SOME CONCEPTS 2
Some concepts of Art and Poetry
don't mean very much at all to me
if it comes from your heart
it just has to be art
that much should be very plain to see
[art is everywhere; look for it]

and

SOME CONCEPTS 3
Some concepts folks have of a God
make me tired and want to nod
I just get board
and in accord
I feel they should be beat with a rod
[spare the rod spoil the child]

and...

SOME CONCEPTS 4
Some concepts conceived late at night
never do seem to work out right
with a foggy head
laying in bed
there's no reason to get uptight
[just relax]

************

CONDEMNED 1
Condemned here I sit all alone
I've turned off my desk telephone
locked up the door
don't want no more
all my wild seeds have been sown

and...

CONDEMNED 2
Condemned to use only your pen name
responsibility comes with fame
in the lime light
you feel so right
trying hard to play the same old game

and...

CONDEMNED 3
Condemned to remember my past
wondering why memories last
they dance in my head
while I lay in bed
and I never fall asleep fast

and...

CONDEMNED 4
Condemned to be a broken man
I just can't seem to understand
what happened to me
not the man you see
what have the powers that be planned

and...

CONDEMNED 5
Condemned to be all I can be
God has a plan that's just for me
it may take time
but that's no crime
just as long as my soul is free

************

The Laundry
The laundry needs to be done a certain way
or at least that's what I hear my mother say
don't mix color and white
if you want them real bright
I'll wait to do my laundry some other day
[when she's not around]

and

THE LAUNDRY
The laundry sits there in a big pile
it begins to smell after awhile
it needs to be done
but laundry's no fun
I hope this Limerick brings you a smile
[or at least a smirk]

and

The Laundry
The laundry soon gets out of hand
no matter how life may seem planned
but it just don't seem right
to do laundry at night
and I still do not understand

and...

The Laundry
The laundry possesses its ways
of breeding a brightness that stays
while water gets murkey
the clothes get all perky
oh how I do hate laundry days

************

TO UNDERSTAND 1
To understand is not easy
well at least it is not for me
every new day
in some new way
things are not the way they should be
[just how should they be anyhow?]

and...

TO UNDERSTAND 2
To understand you got to open your mind
you have no idea of the wonders you'll find
the world is a stage
and you're all the rage
when you decided to keep your nose to the grind
[what'a bloddy mess]

and..

TO UNDERSTAND 3
To understand this thing called life
has been causing me too much strife
when will it all end
every now and then
I almost wish I had a wife
[but only almost]

************

BANANAS 1
Bananas was a Woody Allen movie
and Woody is so very funny to me
he's not very tall
and I bet he saw
everything they way he'd like it to be

and...

BANANAS 2
Bananas are good off the tree
and they are very good for me
they come big or small
and I've seen them all
the best are the ones you get free

and...

BANANAS 3
Bananas are natures perfect food
I don't mean to be pushy or rude
but they are the best
and I will confess
that I eat a few every day dude

************

ROUTINES 1
Routines have become routine
I'm sure you know what I mean
spending every day
in the same old way
is enough to make me scream

and

ROUTINES 2
Routines have become part of life
yet they cause us all too much strife
they get on our nerves
with sharp bends and curves
and can cut sometimes like a knife

and

ROUTINES 3
Routines help to pass away hours
things like sleeping, eating and showers
they're no longer fun
but when they are done
we may have time to smell the flowers

and

ROUTINES 4
Routines can get very old and stale
until one ends up in county jail
but that's no fun
when your time's done
you got to pay some money for bail

and

ROUTINES 5
Routines keep us all stuck in a rut
we go to work just to pay our nut
day after day
for little pay
no matter pedigree or a mutt

************

MY COUGHING 1
My coughing is not getting better
my doctor just sent me a letter
he said don't worry
there is no hurry
keep your spirit light as a feather

and..

MY COUGHING 2
My coughing is slowly getting worse
this must be some kind of a weird curse
each and every day
I just hack away
my medicine has emptied my purse

and..

MY COUGHING 3
My coughing can hurt me real bad
and when it hurts I feel I'm had
I want to feel better
got a dear John letter
now I'm a had sad coughing lad

and...

MY COUGHING 4
My coughing is out of control
it hurts all the way to my soul
I've been told by them
to spit out the flem
and to collect it in a bowl

************

RETRACTING 1
Retracting what I said yesterday
I think I'll just go on my own way
I heard your advice
you did say it twice
but it's more than black and white; it's gray

and...

RETRACTING 2
Retracting a retractable thing
both my muse and my heart like to sing
about better days
a self educed haze
made my head spin and my both ears ring

and...

RETRACTING 3
Retracting all this barium I drank
really gave me gas that made the room stank
my belly was full
tired of this bull
who in the world I wonder should I thank

and

RETRACTING 4
Retracting contracted contractors
wish I could be their benefactors
but money is tight
some day I just might
have things done over with retractors...

************

I Told Her 1
I told her not to come over here
she came anyway she didn't care
about what I said
while in was in bed
she thinks I'm mean and very unfair

and

I Told Her 2
I told her it's not a good time for me
alone is how I really want to be
she took it the wrong way
so now what can I say
I guess she's angry and just can not see

and

I Told Her 3
I told her I'd see her again
but don't borrow and never lend
couldn't say when
but then again
after all she is a good friend

and

I Told Her 4
I told her I do understand
but life for me just ain't so grand
she started to cry
as I said goodbye
never did get to tell her why

************

A DIMWIT 1
A dimwit spoke to me yesterday
he said "I think I have lost my way"
but what could I do
when I was lost too
I told him I had nothing to say

and...

A DIMWIT 2
A dimwit that hangs around our town
always acts just like a circus clown
with out a red nose
do you all suppose
his smile is an up side down frown

and...

A DIMWIT 3
A dimwit I know all too well
is dirty and man does he smell
he needs a bath
and to learn math
to add and subtract can be swell

and...

A DIMWIT 4
A dimwit sat up on a wall
I told him "you're going to fall"
he laughed at me
very carefree
when he hit he started to bawl

************

TODAY 1
Today is just another day
and it wants to go it's own way
forget any plan
try to understand
there's a reason the sky is gray

and...

TODAY 2
Today will be yesterday soon
with the setting of the spent moon
then what will you do
with time given you
act wise or crazy as a loon

and...

TODAY 3
Today was yesterdays tomorrow
a day spent alone with some sorrow
the lesson now learned
how not to get burned
never lend and or never borrow

************

RETRACTING 1
Retracting what I said yesterday
I think I'll just go on my own way
I heard your advice
you did say it twice
but it's more than black and white; it's gray

and...

RETRACTING 2
Retracting a retractable thing
both my muse and my heart like to sing
about better days
a self educed haze
made my head spin and my both ears ring
and...

RETRACTING 3
Retracting all this barium I drank
really gave me gas that made the room stank
my belly was full
tired of this bull
who in the world I wonder should I thank

and

RETRACTING 4
Retracting contracted contractors
wish I could be their benefactors
but money is tight
some day I just might
have things done over with retractors

************

I Told Her 1
I told her not to come over here
she came anyway she didn't care
about what I said
while in was in bed
she thinks I'm mean and very unfair
and

I Told Her 2
I told her it's not a good time for me
alone is how I really want to be
she took it the wrong way
so now what can I say
I guess she's angry and just can not see

and

I Told Her 3
I told her I'd see her again
but don't borrow and never lend
couldn't say when
but then again
after all she is a good friend
and

I Told Her 4
I told her I do understand
but life for me just ain't so grand
she started to cry
as I said goodbye
never did get to tell her why

************

A STAR 1

A star is a very strange thing
one once led some men to The King
many years ago
and I know you know
why men rejoice and angels sing

and:

A STAR 2

A star in the Hollywood sidewalk
for a young actor is all the talk
both feet and both hands
no one understands
why people like to stop and gawk

and:

A STAR 3

A star I saw through a telescope
made me feel good and gave me some hope
I don't know it's name
but I like the game
of watching stars while smoking some dope
and:

A STAR 4

A star has been named after me
the naming of that star was free
called it JFS
and I must confess
that's it's too far away to see

and another;

A STAR 5

A star has been named after me
an event that filled me with glee
they called it Jim
just on a whim
but it's too far away to see

and this last one...

A STAR 6

A star long ago once led three wise men
we've heard the story again and again
He lay in a manger
when He was a stranger
and to this day to the world He's a friend

************

A SCENE 1

A scene seen every now and then
came from some one way back when
times were much better
light as a feather
plucked from some older barn yard hen

and:

A SCENE 2

A scene that was not seen by many
was surreal and not worth a penny
there was a bright light
but that was alright
according to some guy called Benny

and:

A SCENE 3

A scene that I saw yesterday
was part of a very good play
admission was free
but only for me
so I decided that I'd stay

and:

A SCENE 4

A scene in my sons high school play
seemed like the highlight of the day
every thing went wrong
including the song
no one did anything the right way

************

IN DOUBTS 1

In doubts lie the reason we fail
it's nice to have money for bail
ya never know when
every now and then
even the strongest end up frail

and:

IN DOUBTS 2

In doubts we find that we make
things wrong and that's a mistake
so here's what to do
go try something new
like giving more than you take

and:

IN DOUBTS 3

In doubts we find that we take
things wrong and that's a mistake
so what can ya do
but try something new
like sitting down near the lake

and:

IN DOUBTS 4

In doubts we find many an excuse
maybe even while drinking some juice
our doubts are no good
is that understood
we and our doubts should create a truce

and:

IN DOUBTS 5

In doubts about what to do next
some times I think I must be hexed
being hexed can suck
I could use some luck
when reading some rather small text

************

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day I recently had
left me feeling empty and so sad
the boxes were free
and very empty
until I slowly packed up my pad

and:

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day because I'm moving again
it's a lot of work so I asked a good friend
to give me a hand
she did understand
said she'd be over but she never said when

and:

A BOXING DAY

A Boxing Day down at the arena
and I'm going with my friend Leena
she's short and sweet
has front row seats
she is latin and also muy fina

************

OUR FREEDOMS 1

Our freedoms are many they say
and we defend them every day
freedom isn't sucky
it's what makes us lucky
the good old American way

and:

OUR FREEDOMS 2

Our freedoms were not given freely
but they are there for you and for me
we will fight for the right
under sun or moon light
on the land, in the air, on the sea

and:

OUR FREEDOMS 3

Our freedoms are many but yet
many of us seem to forget
we fought for the right
to stand in the light
of truth and a freedom that's set

************

UMBRELLAS 1

Umbrellas lined up in a row
set there by an artist called Cristo
who was the first wrapper
he always looked dapper
and wrapped buildings if you didn't know

and:

UMBRELLAS 2

Umbrellas keep us from getting wet
so when it rains be sure not to forget
to bring one along
if the wind is strong
holding it with two hands is your best bet

and:

UMBRELLAS 3

Umbrellas are for women and men
even I use one every now and then
it keeps me dry
so I don't cry
keep one close because ya never know when

and:

UMBRELLAS 4

Umbrellas come real big and small
when wet they can hang up on the wall
until they dry
do you know why
they're the strangest things I ever saw

************

Big Tidal Waves 1

Big tidal waves sweep us away
and fill our fine lungs with salt spray
which makes us wet
yet we forget
if were alive it's a good day

and:

Big Tidal Waves 2

Big tidal waves churn up a lot
of sorrow and vex spot on spot
that last for days
and in some ways
makes us happy for what we got

and:

Big Tidal Waves 3

Big tidal waves churn up the guts
of Nature and soon drive lives nuts
but please don't make
any mistake
when we can all still buy some sluts

************

A YEAR 1

A year passed and nothing is new
I don't know what the hell to do
a broken man
with out a plan
feeling sad and a little blue

and:

A YEAR 2

A year has passed us both by again.
look at the Limericks I wrote my friend
I pick some subject matter
and just like the mad hatter
my muse inspires me with out end

and:

A YEAR 3

A year can be both good and bad
it can make one happy or sad
watching time fly
as days go by
thankful for all the years I had

and:

A YEAR 4

A year is a measure of time
that passes so fast it's a crime
days turn to night
and I just might
start acting a lot like a mime

and:

A YEAR 5

A year didn't change anything
my head spins and both my ears ring
seems I just can't win
so I hold it in
watching sunrise as the birds sing

and:

A YEAR 6

A year has three hundred-sixty-five days
and can change us all in so many ways
we just get older
some what less bolder
on the stage called life living out life's plays

************

A DAY 1

A day with out a report from you
only makes me and my muse real blue
your words inspire
as I perspire
until the Limericks I write are through

and:

A DAY 2

A day spent alone can be fun
a nice long walk when day is done
is good for the body
much like a hot toddy
it's too hot to walk in the sun

and:

A DAY 3

A day I will never forget
is a day I still do regret
I made a mistake
that day near the lake
as we sat and watched the sun set

and:

A DAY 4

A day unlike any day before
was the day I evened up the score
it did take some work
but I got the jerk
and will not be bothered any more

and:

A DAY 5

A day that I like to hold dear
and please let me make this real clear
comes every four years
so please have no fears
when now and then we have leap year

and:

A DAY 6

A day I will never forget
was one of the very best days yet
we spent the day
so much to say
near the lake watching the sun set

and:

A DAY 7

A day in the life of this man
maybe too hard to understand
just know what I do
I do just for you
and that I do have a set plan

and:

A DAY 8

A day has both some dark and light
it's sunny and then we have night
twelve hours each
we all want peace
and for it we're willing to fight

and:

A DAY 9

A day has but twenty-four hours
plenty of time to take long showers
and wash your head
once out of bed
then take a walk to pick some flowers

************

THE BUSINESS 1

The business at hand they say
is getting through each new day
the best you can
and maybe then
things will start to go your way

and

THE BUSINESS 2

The business of business they told me
is to get as much as you can free
plus make some money
and this is funny
always be the best that you can be

and

THE BUSINESS 3

The business is not going well
the whole idea went straight to hell
things are real rough
I've had enough
I guess it's time for me to sell

and

THE BUSINESS 4
The business you told me your in
is tuff and there's no way to win
but still you try
I don't know why
you work so hard it is a sin

and

THE BUSINESS 5

The business you told me you do
is not the best thing now for you
you need to relax
do not send that fax
just go home now your day is through

and

THE BUSINESS 6

The business world is upside down
there's just too much business around
I don't stand a chance
much like with romance
I'm lost and always act the clown

and

THE BUSINESS 7
The business I used to do
was fun but them days are through
I sit and write
into the night
and sometimes I draw now too

************

TO BLAME 1

To blame anyone but yourself they say
is wrong and I'm here to tell you today
they are so right
and they just might
be the right ones to show you the right way

and:

TO BLAME 2

To blame my muse is all I know
it's she who adds fuel to the show
she shines a light
and it's so right
I relax and go with the flow

and:

TO BLAME 3

To blame me for what just went down
makes me look like a freaking clown
tell me what did I do
I didn't mention you
you're to well known around this town

and:

TO BLAME 4

To blame me when you know it's you
is not the best thing you can do
want to try again
at least be my friend
and please don't tell me that we're through

and:

TO BLAME 5

To blame the other guy is real wrong
like the gong show they will ring the gong
you're out of here
it's not so fair
but let's face it you can't sing a song

************

PERSISTENCE 1

Persistence is one of my traits
I don't like to go out on dates
keeps me in line
when I do dine
I get senior citizen rates

and:

PERSISTENCE 2

Persistence persuaded Percy
to be a little more like me
which made me smile
all of the while
he was busy climbing a tree

and:

PERSISTENCE 3

Persistence is not a bad thing
sticking to it makes your heart sing
you reach your goal
and in your soul
you're real proud and feel like a King

and:

PERSISTENCE 4

Persistence is a good quality
and I hope you can see it in me
you know I do try
and that I know why
there are so many fish in the sea

and:

PERSISTENCE 5

Persistence or at least I have heard
is after all just another word
ya do what ya can
again and again
and even when your vision is blurred

************

THE SEXES 1

The sexes seem to fight all the time
and there is no good reason or rhyme
can't say it's not fair
they both have long hair
and can choose between lemon or lime

and:

THE SEXES 2

The sexes really have no plan
they are both hard to understand
women are from Venus
men Mars, with a penis
they'd both like to rule this great land

and:

THE SEXES 3

The sexes we all can choose from
are only two so don't act dumb
be male or female
don't put it on sale
but now and then give me a crumb

and:

THE SEXES 4
The sexes have to go through trials
that may or may not bring some smiles
it's a long road
a heavy load
to get by you got to walk miles

and:

THE SEXES 5

The sexes are the same every where
men and women just don't seem to care
they wear the same clothes
yet I do suppose
that is expect for their underwear

and:

THE SEXES 6
The sexes want freedom to hoist
a real loud and very strong voice
to make it clear
freedom is here
and no one has very much choice

and:

THE SEXES 7

The sexes get sexier each day
or at least that's what I heard them say
so what can you do
to help me and you
push ahead and find the correct way


************

AS STORMS 1

As storms pass by over this small town
it seems I'm the only one around
it's quiet and dark
here in the park
and I guess I must look like a clown
[all dressed up with no place to go]

and:

AS STORMS 2

As storms go this one's not too bad
although it has made me a bit sad
I will be OK
later on today
dressed up in polka dot and plaid
[looking like a clown]

and:

AS STORMS 3
As storms pass by and leave their mark
I feel like I'm left in the dark
don't know what to do
when I think about you
while walking alone in the park
[looking for trouble]

and:

AS STORMS 4

As storms pass by over here
it's dark and the sky's not clear
I want to hide
away inside
with every thing I hold dear
[me and my shadow]

and:

AS STORMS 5

As storms go this one's a real doozy
started over some silly floozy
don't care how ya word it
the fact is she flirted
and invited me into her jacuzzi
[what was I to do?]

and:

AS STORMS 6

As storms make a change in the weather
I felt good till I read your letter
it started with Dear
and you made it clear
things between us will not get better
[or any worse]

and

As Storms 7

As storms go this one wasn't bad
I got hurt and felt a bit sad
but now it's all right
we made up last night
the best sex that we ever had

and:

As Storms 8
As storms tend to decimate life
an old man gets another wife
to take care of him
married on a whim
her words can cut just like a knife

and:

As Storms 9

As storms come this way now and then
I'm ok if I got a friend
to stay with me
maybe we'll see
the pot of gold at rainbows end

and:

As Storms 10

As storms pass right through here with out warning
in the afternoon, evening or morning
I swallow my pride
and just stay inside
feeling so lost and some what forlorning
[forlorning: is that a word?]

and:

As Storms 11
As storms are good for the earth
I wonder what they are worth
a little rain
keeps us all sane
and starts another rebirth

************

FRESH ROSEMARY 1

fresh rosemary was a friend of mine
she had a great big fat round behind
she was good in bed
but fucked with my head
made me pay for dinner when we dine

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 2
Fresh rosemary, parsley and thyme
go together most of the time
to wet your pallet
just make a salad
maybe add some juice from a lime

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 3

Fresh rosemary got a mouth like a sailor
every man in this small town wants to nail her
she can cuss with the best
and I guess I'll confess
she looks real hot in black silk, with lace, and fur
[yum yum]

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 4

Fresh rosemary adds spice to some things
seems to cause many song birds to sing
I guess it's the smell
but I just can't tell
when I'm listening to church bells ring
[ding dong]

and:

FRESH ROSEMARY 5

Fresh rosemary is sold at the store
is good for cooking and so much more
it looks kind'a funny
don't cost too much money
and comes with some interesting folk lore

************

SWEET ORANGES 1

Sweet oranges are so good for me
I used to pick them right off the tree
back in the day
I went astray
while in some places you'll never see
[welcome to the jungle]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 2

Sweet oranges are green on the tree
I tell you it is true; just ask me
full of vitamin C
so very good for me
I wish I could get oranges free
[green oranges?]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 3
Sweet oranges are a delight
and I'm thinking that I just might
go eat one now
maybe somehow
it'll help me to get through the night
[long empty nights]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 4

Sweet oranges make a great juice
I buy mine from some guy called Bruce
who runs around town
selling by the pound
from a small cart pulled by his moose
[or is that muse]

and:

SWEET ORANGES 5

Sweet oranges, grapefruit and Pineapple
a few eggs, some buttered toast and scrapple
makes a fine morning meal
just to help you to feel
your very best and not look so dapple
[your skin is gray and spotted?]

************

SOUR GRAPES 1

Sour grapes are used to make jelly
that's real sweet and good for your belly
they also make jam
to put on a ham
that burns while cooking and gets smelly

and:

SOUR GRAPES 2
Sour grapes grow on the vine
they can not be used for wine
but they have a use
to make sour juice
add some sugar they'll taste fine

and:

SOUR GRAPES 3
Sour grapes don't make a good juice
try as you might there is no use
why do they grow
I just don't know
maybe we should just call a truce

and:

SOUR GRAPES 4
Sour grapes leave a bad taste on your lips
the calories go straight to your hips
purple or white
they're just not ri
ght even when you use them in fancy dips

and:

SOUR GRAPES 5

Sour grapes leave a bad taste in your mouth
that can make you just feel like going South
to get a nice rest
and I will confess
mine were given to me by Mr. Louth

and:

SOUR GRAPES 6

Sour grapes are a lot like bad luck
when you eat them you realize they suck
so you spit them out
then begin to shout
and then you just start to run a muck

************

BIG TIDAL WAVES1

Big tidal waves are called Tsunami
I heard that from some local swami
he told me a tale
with wind in his sail
then showed me how to do origami

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 2

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
left one hundred fify thousand dead they say
early in the morning
it came with out warning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 3

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 4

Big tidal waves are called Tsunami
I heard that from some local swami
he told me a tale
with wind in his sail
then showed me how to do origami

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 5

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about twentyh thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 6

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about eight thousand dead folks they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 7

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 8

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about twentyh thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 9

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
there are about eight thousand dead folks they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 10

Big tidal waves can come with out warning
just like they did on yesterday morning
"so many are dead"
that's what they said
and "the rest of here are in mourning"

and:

BIG TIDAL WAVES 11

Big tidal waves hit the islands yesterday
left one hundred fifty thousand dead they say
it came with out warning
early in the morning
and there's more rainy weather headed their way

**************

ADJUSTING 1

Adjusting is not always easy
sometimes it's a little too breezy
so I wear a hat
it makes me look fat
perverted and a little sleazy

and:

ADJUSTING 2

Adjusting to my new condition
wishing to go into remission
I go through every day
staying out of the way
and being sure to ask permission

and

ADJUSTING 3

Adjusting to things that you like
like walking and riding a bike
or talking we two
about things we'll do
like camping and taking a hike

and:

ADJUSTING 4

Adjusting to this brand to diet
I'm not sure why I had to try it
but now that I did
I got to eat squid
and it's always best when I fry it

and:

ADJUSTING 5

Adjusting to adjustments they needed
I stood close by and watched as they bleeded
some stay and some go
but they all had dough
we only wanted to help them kneaded

and:

ADJUSTING 6

Adjusting to the limits of fate
the hours is getting really late
it's almost night
and there's no light
with no doubt I will fall for the bait

and:

ADJUSTING 7

Adjusting to things when they change
recently has made me fell strange
but what can I do
when it's really true
they are closing down the old grange

**************

TO DRIVE 1

To drive back and forth just to work
kind'a makes a guy feel like a jerk
but when he gets paid
he is gonna get laid
and then he'll be wearing a smirk

and:

TO DRIVE 2

To drive across the USA
is a whole lot of fun some say
you stop when you can
to make a new friend
hang out for awhile and play

and:

TO DRIVE 3

To drive any more now a days
it not much fun in many ways
there's too many cars
that have stopped in bars
I'd rather be one of the strays

and:

TO DRIVE 4

To drive on the highway is a mess
and I don't enjoy it I confess
to deal with less fuss
I just take the bus
so I can relax and avoid stress

and:

TO DRIVE 5

To drive a big truck is my dream
I'd paint it yellow, white and cream
out on the highway
each and every day
even though things aren't as they seem

and:

TO DRIVE 6

To drive now a days is not much fun
you're so tired when the drive is done
there's cars every where
and it's just not fair
they just sit still in a line and run

and:

TO DRIVE 7

To drive and to chip and to putt
we're forced to fall into a rut
and avoid our muse
just to pay our dues
being treated like a mutt

**************

PROCEEDING 1

Proceeding to not ruin the whole day
I should be careful about what I say
I broke her heart
she fell apart
I didn't want it to turn out this way

and:

PROCEEDING 2

Proceeding procedures took over
as we all rolled around in the clover
the day passed by
we got real high
and played with some big dog called Rover

and:

PROCEEDING 3

Proceeding to try something new
I thought that I would ask you to
try and understand
I am just a man
and that I never meant to hurt you

and:

PROCEEDING 4

Proceeding to go on vacation
I felt a very strange vibration
it made me think
vacations stink
any where across this great nation

and:

PROCEEDING 5

Proceeding exactly as we planned
the whole things easy to understand
if you just try
and do not cry
about every thing turning to sand

and:

PROCEEDING 6

Proceeding to be totally confused
I feel very tired from being used
I'm not a boy toy
just to bring you joy
you're just so rough with me I'm all bruised

**************

EXCITEMENT 1

Excitement is a wonderful emotion
especially once you get it in motion
the fun never stops
till they call the cops
and you get busted for some magic potion

and:

EXCITEMENT 2

Excitement can be bought at the fair
go on the rides that you can find there
buy yourself a ticket
and be sure stick it
in a safe place with much love and care

and:

EXCITEMENT 3

Excitement can be fun now and then
especially when shared with a friend
so take one along
and sing a gay song
but be sure you are willing to bend

and:

EXCITEMENT 4

Excitement can be a lot of fun
especially when excitement's done
the it's time to rest
and I will confess
I know when to walk and when to run

and:

EXCITEMENT 5

Excitement excites me you see
like when I'm watching my TV
I hear a gun shot
I'm froze in one spot
and know this is no place to be

and:

EXCITEMENT 6

Excitement isn't good for my health
is takes away from my charm and stealth
leaves me confused
with real bad blues
and doesn't do a thing for my wealth

and:

EXCITEMENT 7

Excitement has so excited me
things are exactly as they should be
I'm a nervous wreck
but then what the heck
what else would you expect to get free

**************

CONFETTI 1

Confetti lay all over the street
and the children thought that it was neat
but it was a mess
yet I will confess
it was a real special kind of treat

and:

CONFETTI 2

Confetti came out of the horn
that they blew real early that morn
the first of the year
a day for good cheer
when a another new year is born

and:

CONFETTI 3

Confetti drifted down thick from the sky
a celebration for special guy
ticker tape parade
and a masquerade
but no one there said they even knew why

and:

CONFETTI 4

Confetti has it's use at a party
where good friends get to celebrate hearty
and talk of good times
drinking rum with limes
not one of them came early or tardy

and:

CONFETTI 5

Confetti floats on air like it had wings
parties over when the fat lady sings
a sweet goodbye song
that won't last too long
she'll give you goose bumps and all kind of things

and:

CONFETTI 6

Confetti and rice comes in handy
when you're at a wedding dressed dandy
throw it real hard
out in the yard
right at her and her husband Randy

**************

LIFE'S KINDNESS 1

Life's kindness is so kind to me
just the way I like it to be
I always feel glad
and I'm never sad
now that my soul has been set free

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 2
Life's kindness makes us what we are
a laborer or super star
find your station
in this great nation
stick to it and you will go far

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 3

Life's kindness is not hard to find
if you keep your nose to the grind
work hard everyday
go on your way
knowing you're not stuck in a bind

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 4

Life's kindness hit me on the head
the doctors thought I would be dead
but I proved them wrong
and just move along
forgetting everything they said

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 5

Life's kindness has been good to me
it's allowed my soul to be free
so now I care
try to be fair
just the way I know I should be

and:

LIFE'S KINDNESS 6

Life's kindness is not hard to find
it's really just a state of mind
get your head right
and then you might
find life's kindness can be so kind

**************

MY WEEKENDS 1

My weekends are a whole lot like yours
I turn off the phone and lock the doors
and stay in this room
preparing for doom
because when it rain it always pours

and:

MY WEEKENDS 2
My weekends seem to last me all week
maybe some time you will get a peek
and get some enjoyment
so make an appointment
but be warned I'm not humble or meek

and:

MY WEEKENDS 3

My weekends are exactly the same
as all the week days in this here game
that I must play
day after day
only wanting some fortune and fame

and:

MY WEEKENDS 4

My weekends are slow as can be
they drag out and are so empty
each days the same
tired, weak and lame
nothing new is coming to me

and:

MY WEEKENDS 5

My weekends are special to me
there's no place that I have to be
the hours drag by
and I wonder why
things aren't clear and I can not see

and:

MY WEEKENDS 6

My weekends are just like one long night
and sometimes I think that I just might
go a little insane
while walking in the r
ain but you can bet I'll put up a fight

and:

MY WEEKENDS 7

My weekends are slightly insane
all kinds of things float in my brain
I see white light
into the night
at least I don't feel any pain

**************

MUCH BLAME 1

Much blame and shame came all at once
I stood there feeling like a dunce
but what could I say
as you went away
last time you left it was for months

and:

MUCH BLAME 2

Much blame follows me all the time
it's got to be a freaking crime
but what can I do
when I'm trying to
just stay away from low life slime

and:

MUCH BLAME 3

Much blame for the things that went wrong
no credit for writing the song
I feel abused
and some what us
ed and don't think I will last too long

and:

MUCH BLAME 4

Much blame seemed to some how find me
the whole thing was a mystery
I was so young
laughed when you sung
but today that's all history

and:

MUCH BLAME 5
Much blame falls on me just because
it's easy to see I have flaws
but I am still growing
and soon will be knowing
the real deal about Santa Clause

and:

MUCH BLAME 6

Much blame can be a heavy load
which makes you jump just like a toad
and when you spoke
you said croak croak
all night long your croaking just flowed

and:

MUCH BLAME 7
Much blame will have to go some where
perhaps it will teach us to care
but then again
my dear old friend
that won't help us to learn to share

and:

MUCH BLAME 8
Much blame can be put on someone
for allowing us to have fun
when it was late
we tempted fate
and stayed up till ten after one

and:

MUCH BLAME 9
Much blame is passed around just as planned
until the shit hits the big old fan
then things will get rough
enough is enough
do you understand me at all man?

**************

THE BEAUTY 1

The beauty of it all is too much
and it feels so very good to touch
it's soft and silky
and kind'a milky
so I tend to use it as my crutch

and:

THE BEAUTY 2

The beauty that's deep inside of me
may not always be easy to see
since my heart of gold
is getting so old
but things are the way that things should be

and:

THE BEAUTY 3

The beauty who gave Beast a chance
took him home and taught him to dance
then with out warning
early next morning
Beauty and The Beast found romance

and:

THE BEAUTY 4

The beauty found in the country side
makes me happy and so full of pride
nothing to regret
while watching sun set
so I just take it all in my stride

and:

THE BEAUTY 5

The beauty and glory of spring
makes my broken heart want to sing
it's such a good feeling
that might be revealing
I could be a bird on the wing

and:

THE BEAUTY 6

The beauty I saw just the other day
decided to come with me and to stay
we had a good time
and finally I'm
thinking it's time to stay out up and not stray

**************

DISEASES 1

Diseases of the sexual type
recently got a whole lot of hype
so if you're willing
take penicillin
and only eat fruit that is real ripe

and:

DISEASES 2

Diseases can take full control
they can get deep down in your soul
you just don't feel right
and can't sleep at night
there's nothing that makes you feel whole

and:

DISEASES 3

Diseases I've had in my life time
made me so sick that it was a crime
and try as I might
I still don't feel right
and can't talk so I act like a mime

and:

DISEASES 4

Diseases caught by animals do
some how seem to get passed on to you
dogs cats and cows
fish swine and fouls
get so sick they want life to be through

and:

DISEASES 5

Diseases are getting stronger these days
but they can be stopped in amazing ways
just take the right pill
and you won't feel ill
but you'll be spinning in some sort of haze

and:

DISEASES 6

Diseases have many remedies
you can get them when ever you please
but you'll pay a lot
right there on the spot
when it leaves you so weak in the knees

and:

DISEASES 7

Diseases can be controlled these days
there are many good old fashions ways
pills, syrup and meds
that go to our heads
and chicken soup served in bowls on trays

and:

DISEASES 8

Diseases seem to follow me around
when I go to the bad side of this town
I don't know why
but I can't die
and I have tried every thing I have found

**************

A PRESIDENT 1

A president is a silly man
so please won't you try to understand
he feels rejected
being elected
to sit in the office on his can

and:

A PRESIDENT 2

A president once had a secretary
that preformed sexual acts on him for free
she got on her knees
and she aimed to please
under the desk so that no one else could see

and:

A PRESIDENT 3

A president can be many things
gets to mingle with leaders like kings
through out his term
he just might squirm
if and or when the fat lady sings

and:

A PRESIDENT 4

A president is a special man
he's supposed to have a proper plan
and know what to do
to make life for you
better than ever and some what grand

and:

A PRESIDENT 5

A president gets elected they say
there's an election almost every day
in some shape or form
an office or dorm
an election takes place in some way

**************

DEVOTION 1

Devotion and devoting aren't the same
let's face it and admit it's a big game
you say you will
to get a thrill
but what's so important about a name

and:

DEVOTION 2

Devotion is simply a must
for example when you feel lust
got to see it through
and try hard to do
things like caring and showing trust

and:

DEVOTION 3

Devotion is the one thing you see
that you can not ever get from me
I won't settle down
want to run around
I got to be single and care free

and:

DEVOTION 4

Devotion isn't hard to understand
it's so important if you have a plan
to reach your goal
know in your soul
that it is time for you to take a stand

and:

DEVOTION 5

Devotion to being devoted they say
will get you through the worse times of night and day
keep your nose to the grind
and then you just might find
all things will work out for you in it's own way

and:

DEVOTION 6

Devotion to things that I do like
for example riding my Motor Bike
there is a great thrill
better than a pill
riding your Harley down the turn pike

and:

DEVOTION 7

Devotion is a good quality
you need it if you want to be free
so why take a chance
on a new romance
when you know that's not where you should be

**************

THE WEATHER 1

The weather today is real bad
all that snow out there makes me sad
there's no place to go
because of the snow
this is the worse winter I've had

and:

THE WEATHER 2

The weather here in my home town
is cold and there's snow on the ground
every things white
and very bright
can't go outside and walk around

and:

THE WEATHER 3

The weather is out of my control
to have heat I am burning some coal
also some wood
just like I should
refusing to let it take it's toll

and:

THE WEATHER 4

The weather took a turn for the worse
and all of the water pipes have burst
there's ice in the street
and it looks real neat
but now what can I do for my thirst

and:

THE WEATHER 5

The weather is a lady they say
it will change from day to day to day
I have no control
but deep in my soul
I know weather is really OK

and:

THE WEATHER 6
The weather here the past few days
changed for the worse in many ways
a lot of snow
no place to go
inside is where smart people stays

**************

COLLECTIONS 1

Collections of Silver Sols from Peru
from the mint in Lima when it was new
sit here in a folder
for when I get older
but I know they don't mean a lot to you

and:

COLLECTIONS 2

Collections of silver coins I brought home
when I was younger and I could still roam
sit safely in a box
I've a key for the locks
protected by leprechauns and some gnomes

and:

COLLECTIONS 3

Collections collected by collectors
gone over carefully by inspectors
may have some value
for me and for you
but won't pass through the metal detectors

and:

COLLECTIONS 4

Collections of things found in lobbies
put together can create hobbies
for the young and old
and now you've been told
British Police are still called Bobbies

and:

COLLECTIONS 5

Collections for sale at the mall
to me don't look right on the wall
they just hang there
why should I care
to purchase any thing I saw

and:

COLLECTIONS 6

Collections I have here with me
are mine and I'd like you to see
my coins and stamps
and all the tramps
that give it up but not for free

and:

COLLECTIONS 7

Collections that I have collected
have all been so badly neglected
they're covered with dust
and I know I must
take care of the things I've selected

and:

COLLECTIONS 8

Collections of some things from the past
taken care of will forever last
just keep them clean
know what I mean
because they go up in value fast

**************

TRADITIONS 1

Traditions can be a real pain
some of them are damn near insane
like on Holidays
going to plays
and walking out in the cold rain
and:

TRADITIONS 2

Traditions folks have adhered to
are always there waiting for you
so carry them on
and try to be strong
doing the best that you can do
and:

TRADITIONS 3

Traditions traditionally
just don't do very much for me
get a real grasp
forget the past
try something new to set you free
and:

TRADITIONS 4

Traditions passed down from the past
can be silly or a real blast
some make sense
knowing whence
they came from and that they will last

and:


TRADITIONS 5

Traditions praticied in my family
to this very day are still good for me
a nice family meal
will help one to heal
around the table's a nice place to be
and:

TRADITIONS 6

Traditions praticed on holidays
are still carried out the same old ways
one things for certain
you will be hurting
if you do change tradition some days
and:

TRADITIONS 7

Traditions all over the whole world
can get mixed up and a little swirlled
but to my suprise
I've got happy eyes
so far today I still haven't hurled
and:

TRADITIONS 8

Traditions traditionally suck
lets face it none will bring you good luck
to mother and father
they are not a bother
but I don't like goose, lamb, or baked duck
and:

TRADITIONS 9

Traditions in my family
always worked real well for me
on holidays
every thing stays
exactly the way it should be

************

MIDWEEK 1

Midweek late one early summers night
I decided that I would just might
go down the way
hang out and stay
laid back hiding way out of plain sight
and:

MIDWEEK 2

Midweek on a day just like today
I went on down the way just to play
it was kind'a neat
hanging on the street
I like to visit but don't want to stay
and:

MIDWEEK 3

Midweek comes round every seven days
I don't care if midweek goes or stays
surrounded by sound
when I go downtown
tickets are cheaper for midweek plays
and:

MIDWEEK 4

Midweek seems to stay here with me
things aren't the way I'd have them be
each day is the same
tired, weak and lame
but at least my spirit is free
and:

MIDWEEK 5

Midweek is not such a rotten time
folks are tired and commit less crime
the streets are quiet
you can't deny it
there's a whole lot less low life slime
and:

MIDWEEK 6

Midweek mid summer one midnight
I sat by my monitors light
passing time by
my muse and I
just don't think it's wrong to write right
and:

MIDWEEK 7

Midweek isn't much fun if you work
or sit by your computer and lurk
time goes by slow
and so you'll know
as I write this I'm wearing a smirk


**************

MY BEDDING 1

My bedding may soon be for sale
the headboard, mattress and rail
a hospital bed
I'll use instead
since I'm tried, weak and so frail
and

MY BEDDING 2

"My bedding is a comfort" I've said
I'm safe when I'm in my own bed
so nice and warm
safe from the storm
dreams of days gone by fill my head
and:

MY BEDDING 3

My bedding is the best you can buy
I fall asleep and don't even try
when I hit the sack
there's no coming back
because in my dreams I can fly
and:

MY BEDDING 4

My bedding is contemnor
and it was given to me for free
friends own the store
when I want more
I can go pick any thing I see
and:

MY BEDDING 5

My bedding has got to be clean
I am sure you know what I mean
after a hot night
of holding you tight
a wet spot forms right on the scene
and:

MY BEDDING 6

My bedding is warm and clean
I'm sure you know what I mean
changed every day
I got to say
my sleep time is pretty lean
and

MY BEDDING 7

My bedding awaits my sore body
a very safe place for me to be
when I rest my head
you'd think I was dead
because it takes a lot to wake me
and
MY BEDDING

My bedding has a nice wood head board
with a notch for each time that I scored
so if you want to
there's a spot for you
if you need to be loved and adored

**************

YOUR SLEDDING 1

Your sledding is bringing me down
I watch you and feel like a clown
I'm just too old
not very bold
I don't know why I hang around
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 2

Your sledding keeps you busy all day
and I do not want to hear you say
you have no fun
when you are done
because all you do lately is play
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 3

Your sledding with friends down the hill
when it's snowing gives you a thrill
you may dress real warm
while out in the storm
yet I fear you will take a spill
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 4

Your sledding takes a toll on me
this is not the way it should be
you're in a hurry
while I just worry
because you go to fast to see
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 5

Your sledding with friends all day long
helps you to grow real big and strong
you may not care
but that fresh air
could never do you any wrong
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 6

Your sledding is really scaring me
you go way to fast for me to see
try to slow down
on frozen ground
before you crash into a big tree
and:

YOUR SLEDDING 7

Your sledding down the old Killer Hill
is OK if you don't take a spill
now I am not pushing
but you need some cushion
sooner or later I know you will

**************

RELAXING 1

Relaxing alone in the sun room
the flowers are all starting to bloom
they look real neat
and smell so sweet
they remind me a bit of perfume
and:

RELAXING 2

Relaxing is good for your head
why not spend the whole day in bed
forget the time
it's not a crime
no matter what any one said
and:

RELAXING 3

Relaxing out side under the sun
eating a fresh baked cinnamon bun
while reading a book
that I just took
as a gift from a kind local nun
and:

RELAXING 4

Relaxing all day long recently
is really starting to get to me
I feel like a jerk
because I can't work
this is not the way I'd have things be
and:

RELAXING 5

Relaxing is good for your heart
if you don't then it's time to start
sitting quietly
just watching TV
eating snack food that makes you fart
and:

RELAXING 6

Relaxing alone here with you
is something that I love to do
we cuddle up
with our new pup
who wants to go out side to poo
and:

RELAXING 7

Relaxing can be a lot of fun
after your hard day of work is done
have a hot meal
then you will feel
much better and not under the gun
and:

RELAXING 8

Relaxing is hard for me to do
after all that I have just been through
please do not gawk
since I can't walk
just hope this never happens to you
and:

RELAXING 9

Relaxing relaxes your soul
and helps you to feel more than whole
sit there real quiet
you won't denigh it
life can some times take a real toll

**************

THE BEACHES 1

The beaches I see on TV
look really beautiful to me
the sand is white
and late at night
it's a wonderful place to be
and:

THE BEACHES 2

The beaches that surround a place
that is gone now with out a trace
are waiting to
become a new
and see you and your pretty face
and:

THE BEACHES 3

The beaches that we have around here
are dirty and the waters not clear
they are too crowded
and if you doubt it
maybe you should take time to go there
and:

THE BEACHES 4

The beaches not too far from my home
on an island that I once would roam
were all pure white
and late at night
would be loaded with some weird sea foam
and:

THE BEACHES 5

The beaches you see in a movie
all look fun and must be real groovy
but where can they be
and are they all free
to a tourist or a real newbie
and:

THE BEACHES 6

The beaches I saw way down in Peru
are real good for swimming and surfing too
the waves are large
and as a barge
floats by you try to find something to do
and:

THE BEACHES 7

The beaches in Colombia S A
are a wonderful place to stay and play
the sun's pretty hot
and there just is not
any one thing that will get in your way
and:

THE BEACHES 8

The beaches way down in Ecuador
are gray and black and in fact what's more
they've the puka shell
any one can sell
if they know what puka shells are for
and:

THE BEACHES 9

The beaches that I saw in my past
so pretty the memory will last
forever and a day
so what more can I say
but my time there went by way too fast
and:

THE BEACHES 10

The beaches that allow dogs to run free
are not the best place for humans to be
and if you knew why
I know you would cry
and pray the poo would get washed out to sea

**************

WHAT PROGRESS 1

What progress I make every day
is just what makes me want to stay
don't want to die
want to get high
and go out in the sun to play
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 2

What progress might mean to any man
may be hard for me to understand
it's not always good
and just like I should
I am ready and do have a plan
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 3

What progress I've made in the past
may just not be able to last
I'm getting weaker
and need a seeker
and time goes by so very fast
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 4

What progress is to this modern age
has Mother Nature all in a rage
she's so upset
and you can bet
that life is much more than just a stage
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 5

What progress made in the third world
has got simple peoples minds swirled
now they wear shoes
and got the blues
paint their nails and get their hair curled
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 6

What progress is to one just might be
the end of the world if you can see
the earth is a garden
and I beg your pardon
but humans were meant to live care free
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 7

What progress we have made this year
leaves us both with nothing to fear
everything's ok
it is a good day
there's no reason to shed a tear
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 8

What progress mans made out in space
can you see the smile on his face
out in the stars
even on Mars
still searching for a better place
and:

WHAT PROGRESS 9

What progress we have made as mere men
can be debated again my friend
if is it good
and if you could
would do the thing over again


**************

SOME TRAFFIC 1

Some traffic that passes by here
comes way too close and I do fear
the volume will grown
in case you don't know
the car exhaust makes my eyes tear
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 2

Some traffic stuck on an exit ramp
the other day when foggy and damp
just stood real s
till I took a pill
and then picked up some hitch hiking tramp
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 3

Some traffic I was in the other day
was really starting to get in my way
I beeped my horn
as if to warn
others to pick a lane and in it stay
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 4

Some traffic forms a bottle neck
which of course can lead to a wreck
I'm tired and spent
from my accident
but no one seems to give a heck
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 5

Some traffic on the local expressway
was tied up for hours the other day
it just wasn't fair
too much sun glare
blinded people; at least that's what they say
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 6

Some traffic on the busy turnpike
whizzed by me while I tried to hitch hike
no one would stop
expect a cop
but he was riding a motor bike
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 7

Some traffic out during rush hour
moves slower than any old flower
growing in the sun
and it is no fun
when we are having a snow shower
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 8

Some traffic I was in the other day
moved really slow and just got in my way
what the fuck!!
I was stuck
and in the bottle neck I had to stay
and:

SOME TRAFFIC 9

Some traffic reporters have said
drive carefully or you'll be dead
please just take it slow
where ever you go
don't use gasoline that has lead

**************

DEMOCRACY 1

Democracy is a good thing indeed
so spread the word and try to plant the seed
where ever you go
so others will know
for our freedom we are willing to bleed
and:

DEMOCRACY 2

Democracy is so democratic
I've got some trouble with my sciatic
when it is damp
I get a cramp
and my TV is nothing but static
and:

DEMOCRACY 3

Democracy seems to work ok
or at least that's what some people say
and you can gloat
because you vote
I think I'll stay in the USA
and:

DEMOCRACY 4

Democracy for all I heard them say
and in fact it was just the other day
but what do they know
and where do they go
when they go out all night to get away
and:

DEMOCRACY 5

Democracy is real good for us all
in a corner with your back to the wall
please do take note
you can go vote
and make a change to everything you saw
and:

DEMOCRACY 6

Democracy is a wonderful thing
you can't hear the cracked Liberty Bell ring
it hasn't been fixed
since seventy six
when the city had a bell ringing fling

**************

LESS CARNAGE 1

Less carnage I hear the people scream
and I am sure they are all a team
it last all night
why do they fight
I'm wondering if this is a dream
and:

LESS CARNAGE 2

Less carnage is a very good plan
it is time that we all understand
and face up to facts
we need to relax
since we all have taken a firm stand
and:

LESS CARNAGE 3

Less carnage than we all had before
is exactly what fate had in store
for all gods people
and a church steeple
why you laying face down on the floor
and:

LESS CARNAGE 4

Less carnage would slow things way down
to give time to a circus clown
just to relax
and face the facts
clowns aren't popular in this town
and:

LESS CARNAGE

Less carnage would be a real good thing
perhaps someone should talk to the King
this has to stop
we need a cop
the noise is so loud both my ears ring

**************

CORRECTIONS 1

Corrections were decided upon
as beautiful as a pure white swan
that floats on a lake
so make no mistake
between us and nature there's a bond
and:

CORRECTIONS 2

Corrections corrected correctly
where marked in bright red for me to see
yet try as I might
I can't get it right
aren't things exactly as they should be
and:

CORRECTIONS 3

Corrections are a part of writing
there's no need for all of this fighting
so use spell check
and what the heck
please send something in enlighting
and:

CORRECTIONS 4

Corrections corrected the mess
the manager had to confess
it was all his fault
he's locked in the vault
deciding to take more or less
and:

CORRECTIONS 5

Corrections that must now be made
will help me to make the best grade
so by the lamp light
I study all night
until dawns light causes night to fade
and:

CORRECTIONS 6

Corrections facilities are the pits
everyone there is doing their own bits
time goes so slow
and so you know
just to survive you got to use your wits
and:

CORRECTIONS 7

Corrections officers are the worse
it as if they can all cast a curse
they are so large
and they're in charge
to get along you must fill their purse

**************

SECURITY 1

Security is what I want
don't piss and moan or even grunt
take care of me
and you will see
I know when to hit and to bunt
and:

SECURITY 2

Security cost a pretty penny
yet it is used by ever so many
windows and doors
mats on the floors
are monitored by someone called Lenny
and:

SECURITY 3

Security just don't come cheap
it's hard to hold on to and keep
but it's so good
and so you should
not go in the water too deep
and:

SECURITY 4

Security at the big game
was lacking a lot and real lame
the guards were all drunk
they stunk like a skunk
wondering just who they could blame
and:

SECURITY 5

Security is a good thing
for presidents, queens and a king
but what about me
It's so clear to see
I'm not just here today to sing
and:

SECURITY 6

Security is tighter than before
and I don't think I can take too much more
just to get through
they must search you
making you drop your pants down to the floor
and:

SECURITY 7

Security alarms are in place
and they are hidden with out a trace
they're watching you
things that you do
and the smile on your pretty face
and:

SECURITY 8

Security secured by some guards
that have to stand outside in front yards
keeping their eye
on the bad guy
asking for things like their ID cards
and:

SECURITY 9

Security is the issue any more
they will search you right when you walk in the door
they got a selector
a metal detector
they want to know exactly what you came for

**************

BIG WARFARES 1

Big warfares continue to grow
the media lets us all know
what they want to
they lie to you
and leave no other place to go
and:

BIG WARFARES 2

Big warfares through out History
to me remain a mystery
they all had a plan
I don't understand
like a cold wind so blistery
and:

BIG WARFARES 3

Big warfares create great big trouble
we need to get fixed on the double
let's call a cease
try to find peace
and break the old war mongers bubble
and:

BIG WARFARES 4

Big warfares demand a real good plan
that's not really hard to understand
you need the right knack
planning the attack
to kill woman child and man
and:

BIG WARFARES 5

Big warfares go on all the time
I'm not saying it ain't a crime
it's all too bad
and makes me sad
while drinking my rum with some lime
and:

BIG WARFARES 6

Big warfares cost a lot of money
and let's face it that's not too funny
the money we waste
on wars and in space
could go towards a Playboy Bunny

**************

THREE EGGS 1

Three eggs were found real early today
by a boy who went outside to play
he wanted to snoop
in the chicken coop
and that's a good place for him to stay
and:

THREE EGGS 2

Three eggs with some meat and some bread
a breakfast that goes to your head
and lasts all day
what can I say
I think it's time to go back to bed
and:

THREE EGGS 3

Three eggs are all that I have here
the cost of eggs is just too dear
to buy any more
at the corner store
I need my money to buy beer
and:

THREE EGGS 4

Three eggs some veggies and some meat
makes a breakfast I like to eat
fried up in a pan
try to understand
a little garnish makes it neat

and:

THREE EGGS 5

Three eggs in a basket for sale
by an old woman weak and frail
who sat on a stool
looking like a fool
near a cow, telling her sad tale
and:

THREE EGGS 6

Three eggs an omelet just don't make
not at all so make no mistake
you got to add
only a tad
of veggies, cheese and let it bake
and:

THREE EGGS 7

Three eggs gathered fresh this morning
came broken with out a warning
I cooked them up
with a nice cup
of coffee that was adorning

**************

THESE RHYMES 1

These rhymes that you like have found the mark
I like being with you in the dark
all through the night
hugging up tight
until dawn when we hear a dog bark
and:

THESE RHYMES 2

These rhymes I often share here with you
surely prove that I have nothing to do
I sit here and wait
then I hesitate
to make a change or try something new
and:

THESE RHYMES 3

These rhymes we write and like to share
must show that we really do care
sharing is fun
then when we're done
we understand life isn't fair
and:

THESE RHYMES 4

These rhymes my muse helps me to create
come to me when alone very late
I sit in this chair
and I just don't care
if I ever go out on a date
and:

THESE RHYMES 5

These rhymes that I send in just for you
just will not do what I want them to
at least I tried
and I have cried
because it seems you and I are through
and:

THESE RHYMES 6

These rhymes I would read when real young
Mother Goose was a crock of dung
the fly and the spider
made me want to bite her
with only fresh air in my lung
and:

THESE RHYMES 7

These rhymes shared each day on this list
always seem to have the same gist
they got a flow
and so you'll know
my heads spinning while in a mist
and:

THESE RHYMES 8

These rhymes that you read written by me
given by muse to me for free
help pass the time
it is a crime
that things have to be just like they be
and:

THESE RHYMES 9

These rhymes I offer you every day
dance around in my head and they stay
it's me and my muse
so what is the use
trying to forced her to stay away
and:

THESE RHYMES 10

These rhymes I read sent into this list
aimed at the mark do seem to have missed
they're a good try
and you know why
it can be so hard to get the gist

**************

ENTITLED 1

Entitled to think like I should
I do the very best I could
feathered and tarred
I try so hard
not to see the boys in the hood
and:

ENTITLED 2

Entitled to feel like I do
after all that I have been through
it's getting rough
but good I'm tough
and trying hard not to be blue
and:

ENTITLED 3

Entitled to more than you gave
I feel like your little sex slave
and I can see
that you use me
and will soon send me to my grave
and:

ENTITLED 4

Entitled to a little dancing
I am playing along while romancing
a much better life
that is free of strife
actually there's little I am chancing
and:

ENTITLED 5

Entitled to a much better life
maybe I should get myself a wife
she could cook and clean
ya know what I mean
angry words can cut me like a knife
and:

ENTITLED 6

Entitled to things that I need
why must my sad broken heart bleed
you went away
valentines day
left me helpless and feeling treed
and:

ENTITLED 7

Entitled to more than I got
I feel like I am on the spot
under a light
real late at night
what was I saying, I forgot
and:

ENTITLED 8

Entitled to things that are mine
it's getting much harder to find
the golden key
that works for me
and helps me to draw a straight line
and:

ENTITLED 9

Entitled to the sun moon and stars
I would settle for a few new cars
do I have a chance
to find a romance
in one of them sleazy back street bars
and:

ENTITLED 10

Entitled to make a big blunder
thinking of the land that's down under
aborigines
kangaroos and tree
woman moan and the men all thunder
and:

ENTITLED 11

Entitled to anything I want
my new small dog has a favorite stunt
he'll sit and bark
when it gets dark
of the whole litter he was the runt

**************

Ceviche 1

Ceviche is a dish I ate
while in Peru one night real late
soaked in some lime
it cost a dime
and to be honest it was great
and:

Ceviche 1

Ceviche is a great dish
it's made up mostly of fish
soaked in juice
and my muse
is happy to grant my wish

*Ceviche pronounced: Ca vee che

By Jim Nasium       

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