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Tuesday, 7 May 2013

WRITING TASK 2 (8 band)


Have you ever wondered what a perfect band 9 IELTS essay looks like?  Click here to see a model Task 2 IELTS essay written by a renown IELTS instructor in response to a REAL IELTS essay question.

1. Some say that people should continue to work in the same job for a lifetime. Others say they should change jobs at least once during their career. 

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give your opinion and support it with at least one example from your life..
The vocations people choose to build careers upon vary from one person to another. Equally varied are the opinions people hold about their work and whether it is better to commit themselves to one profession throughout their career or to change their professions several times over the course of their lives. In this essay, it is argued the latter poses more positive points to the individual. This will be proven by looking at how engaging in multiple jobs allows a person to discover their potential and avoid becoming uncreative as a result of boredom due to monotony.
For one, people who diversify their professions throughout their working life are given the chance to find strengths they did not know they had. For example, Larry David, head writer of the popular ‘Seinfeld’ sitcom, drove a limousine for years prior to trying his hand at script writing. Had he not attempted this new career move, he would have never achieved the major success he did, which allowed him to work with top stars in Hollywood. Thus, as this example makes clear, opportunities come to those who attempt different courses of work throughout their lives.
In addition to this, people who change their working circumstances at intervals tend not to become bored with the work they do, and this can help raise the level of innovation within an industry. For instance, I once knew a woman in Shanghai who worked as a manager in clothing design. She told me that part of her recruitment strategy for new staff was to hire people who had worked in several different jobs before arriving at her company. Her reason for doing this was that she found that these sorts of people tended to be much more naturally creative, and this quality was good for the products she made. As this woman’s experience shows, having a varied professional life can contribute positively to industries as a whole.
The above points make clear that individuals who pepper their working life with different professional experiences tend to derive more benefits than those who commit themselves to a single job. Thus, it is hoped that people the world over take strides to follow this vocational plan.

The following model IELTS essay was written exclusively for Your Study Abroad by Ryan Higgins, an IELTS instructor who runs IELTS Writing Blog. This Task 2 question was seen on the General exam in India in April of 2012. For more model responses like this one and personalized feedback on your writing, visit Ryan’s IELTS Writing Blog at 

 2. Should children go to nursery school prior to their primary studies?  Share personal examples in your essay, if applicable.
In most countries today, children attend some form of preschool before engaging their studies at primary school.  Although many feel this is an ideal arrangement, this essay will argue that a strong familial environment at home can replace the need for a child to attend nursery school.  This will be shown by analyzing how the skills needed for elementary studies can be taught at home and how having additional time with parents can help strengthen a child’s sense of family.
For one, many of the skills a child develops in preschool can be taught by parents.  For example, when my nephew was 3, ‘sharing’ was one of the main topics the very young were expected to have mastered upon entry into primary school.  Despite not having attended preschool, my nephew finished his kindergarten years at the top of his class and was given a special award for his particularly strong sense of sharing.  This example makes it clear that nursery school attendance should not be assumed a precursor to success in elementary school.
In addition to this, preschool-aged children are forced to engage the world of academia before they have had a chance to properly bond with their parents.  For instance, a study in the US recently revealed a link between preschool attendance and childhood feelings of abandonment.  As this report shows, a clear link appears to exist in many cases between nursery school students and subpar parental relations.  Thus, encouraging the very young to attend preschool studies may not be as positive a course of action as many think.
Following this look at how parents can both set an academic foundation and establish stronger relations with their children, the conclusion can be drawn that nursery schools do not need to be attended prior to primary studies.  It is hoped parents the world over recognize that education and childhood development extend beyond the classroom.
3. WRITING TASK 2


You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that young people should be ambitious.  Others believe that it is fine if young people do not have big aims in life.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words.


Most parents want their children to do well in life and so it is understandable that they expect them to be ambitious.  A lot or parents who do not have much money and are not at the higher levels of society want their children to do better in life than they did, to have opportunities they did not have, to have better jobs than they did and to have money to buy things that they could not buy.  It is natural for them to think in this way, and therefore it is hard for them to accept it if their children do not have big things in life that they want to achieve.

However, not everyone can be successful in life.  Not everyone is clever enough to get a highly-paid job and not everyone is capable of achieving what their parents would regard as success.  Some young people would rather be happy and live a relaxed life than spend all their time trying to achieve ambitions that they might not be able to achieve anyway.   And lots of people do not find anything that they desperately want to achieve.  They are happy to get ordinary jobs, earn a living and enjoy themselves with their friends and family.

In my opinion, it is understandable that a lot of parents want their children to be ambitious, but it is also natural that not all young people are ambitious.   Your youth is a time for enjoying yourself, and there is no reason why everyone should have big goals in life.  There are more important things.


Final comments and approximate IELTS band score


Task Response                                                                                              9
                                                                                               
􀂃 fully addresses all parts of the task
􀂃 presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas                                                              


Coherence and Cohesion                                                                               9                                                                                                                                                         
􀂃 uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
􀂃 skilfully manages paragraphing     



Lexical Resource                                                                                            9                                                                                             
􀂃 uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy                                                                9

􀂃 uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.                                                                      

Approximate overall IELTS score                                                                  9           

4. More people are traveling today than ever before.  Why do you think this is?
Today, the number of people engaging in international travel is swelling rapidly.  This is a trend that does not appear to be slowing at all.  Although many factors have contributed to this growth, trade opportunities and tourism are thought to be the main triggers.  Both will be examined in this essay.
On the one hand, the increasing international awareness of growth markets is spurring development in the travel sector.  For example, knowledge of raw resources available in African countries has piqued the interest of manufacturing and consuming nations the world over.  To capitalize on this interest, many are making expeditions to establish cross border connections with businesspeople in the African region.  Thus, it is clear that trade is one of the core reasons international travel is growing.
In addition to this, growing affluence the world over has made it possible for increasing amounts of people to engage in recreational travel.  For instance, Chinese tourist numbers are growing so quickly that major holiday destinations, such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, are choosing to display their public signs in French, English and Mandarin.  Thus, the unshrinking need for tourist hotspots to accommodate travelers from various countries is clear evidence that a true link between tourism numbers and international travel exists.  It can therefore be concluded that growing worldwide affluence is fueling a surge in international travel numbers. 
Following this look, it is clear that global trade opportunities and tourism are altering humanity’s need for international travel.  It is thus expected that rates of travel will only continue to climb into the foreseeable future.
                                                          

1 comment:

  1. wow.. great sir. what a writing and blog. Thank u very much

    ReplyDelete

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