JOB INTERVIEW

Interviewer: So what are your skills?
Applicant: It’s on the resume
Interviewer: I want you to tell me!
Applicant:  Then resume becomes irrelevant!
Interviewer: No, I want to hear it; it will take for me to read
Applicant:  How can you be sure that the time taken by me to say is greater than the time taken by you to read!
Interviewer: Well isn't that obvious!
Applicant:  Not to me!
Interviewer: So let’s say you are hired!
Applicant:  Thank you! So I will start from tomorrow.
Interviewer:  No just assume!
Applicant:  OK! Why assume, you are authorized to give me a job right! And you just said that I am hired!
Interviewer: No I said, Assume!
Applicant:  Assume what?
Interviewer: Assume that you are hired!
Applicant:  By whom?
Interviewer:  By me!
Applicant:  OK. I assume that you have hired me.
Interviewer:  Will you work for a little less!
Applicant:  I will work less then!
Interviewer:  No! Then we are not going to hire you!
Applicant:  But why should I work more for less money, isn't that exploitation!
Interviewer:  No, it isn't it just that we don't feel you skills are up to the mark!
Applicant:  But I never told you my skills!
Interviewer: No, I read them!
Applicant:  Right now!
Interviewer:  No, before the interview!
Applicant:  Then why did you ask me for my skills before the interview!
Interviewer: I wanted to check your communication skills!
Applicant:  How did you check it then?
Interviewer:  I listened!
Applicant:  OK. I assume that!
Interviewer:  No I was keenly listening! You don't have to assume!
Applicant:  So I should stop assuming!
Interviewer:  Yes!
Applicant: What?
Interviewer:  Everything!
Applicant:  Then what happens!
Interviewer:  You can go!
Applicant: So only if I stop assuming I can go , but I don't want to go so I should not stop assuming. Am I right?
Interviewer:  Get out!
Applicant:  Not until you hire me!
Interviewer:  I am not going to hire you!
Applicant:  I am not going to assume anything now!
Interviewer:  Please go away, or else I will call security!
Applicant:  I don't need security, I feel safe with you!
Interviewer:  You are impossible to deal with!
Applicant:  Yes , with the deal you are offering I am. I need more.
Interviewer:  OK. You are hired as the new Manager. Welcome aboard!